LAist: Breaking News: Baseball is Full of Effing Cheaters

worriedman

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 16:59:13 -0800

SOLUTION: Mandatory on-the-field public drug testing before every game, after warmups. It will become ceremonial, just like the 7th inning stretch. Busted offenders get fired on the spot, and have to sit in the stands and must divvy up their remaining salary to everyone in the surrounding audience.... think of the attendance boosts. And fuck catching a foul ball... I got 2% of Roger Clemmons' remaining $20 mil!

ishXdavid

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 15:01:19 -0800

Good question. I don't think there's anything baseball can do except maybe fine and suspend players. The breadth of steroid usage is such that I don't think there will be any asterisks or redaction of any records. I'm interested to see if Roger Clemens will be treated like Barry Bonds. I hold pre-steroid Bonds in higher esteem as a ballplayer than pre-steroid Clemens.

Ryanicus

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:55:49 -0800

So what happens next??? Steroids were not illegal by MLB Rules. Do we erase these guys off our consciousness. This report is 8 years too late, something should've been done by MLB and Player's Association a long time ago.

ishXdavid

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:46:35 -0800

After reading the entire Mitchell Report all I can say, "move along, nothing to see here". I came into work late today just so I can watch the press conference live and read the report as it came out thinking that this was going to be one of the landmark moments in baseball history. As usual, it didn't live up to the hype. There weren't any names that surprised me. So Roger Clemens didn't all of a sudden go from being at the "twilight of his career" to Cy Young reincarnate naturally? You don't say?! A move to the bullpen isn't supposed to transform Eric Gagne from a borderline starter to Satchell Paige. Most of the players who had extraordinary seasons then fell off completely after injury -- Kevin Brown, Mo Vaughn, Denny Neagle -- are now exposed. As expected, most of the players implicated were borderline players trying to break into the majors. I have a newfound appreciation for the talent of the players who are doing it clean. I'm happy that MLB is finally owning up to the monster they've created because I have a 10-year old who dreams of playing in the big leagues, and he won't have to worry about juicing up to make it.