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December 13, 2007
Breaking News: Baseball is Full of Effing Cheaters
Former Senate Majority Leader (and current Boston Red Sox director) George Mitchell just announced the results of his 20-month, $20 million investigation into allegations of widespread steroid usage in baseball. The long-awaited, 409-page Mitchell Report (document here) identifies more than 80 current and former players as being linked to using performance-enhancing drugs. While the report casts blame on the lack of institutional control within baseball as much as the players themselves that cheated, what everyone cares about are the names.
Let the public humiliation ensue.
The list includes several current and former stars, such as all-time great Roger Clemens (no surprise, given his career arc), Andy Pettitte, and former beloved Dodger Eric “Game Over” Gagne. Others retired stars include the less-beloved former Dodger Kevin Brown (six-time all star), ex-Angel Mo Vaughn (1995 MVP), and David Justice.
Some have been previously implicated, like 2002 MVP Miguel Tejada, and of course, the giant forehead man who was the catalyst for the investigation after his alleged steroid usage was detailed in the controversial book Game of Shadows, all-time home run champ* Barry* Bonds*.
Several current and former Dodgers and Angels are mentioned. The full list is as follows:
Dodgers (years with the team in parenthesis): Eric Gagne (1999-2006), Paul LoDuca (1998-2004), Kevin Brown (1999-2003), Todd Hundley (1999-2000, 2003), Jeff Williams (1999-2002), Matt Herges (1999-2001), Chris Donnels (2000-2001), Phil Hiatt (2001), Ismael Valdez (1994-1999, 2000), F.P. Santangelo (2000), Adam Riggs (1997), Todd Williams (1995)
Angels: Gary Matthews, Jr. (2007-current), Brendan Donnelly (2002-2006), Paul Byrd (2005), Jason Christiansen (2005), Troy Glaus (1998-2004), Adam Riggs (2003-2004), Jose Guillen (2004), Scott Schoeneweis (1999-2003), Bart Miadich (2001, 2003), Mo Vaughn (1999-2001), Ismael Valdez (2001), Glenallen Hill (2001), Kent Mercker (2000), Jason Grimsley (1996)
Commissioner Bud Selig will address the report at a press conference beginning at 1:30 pm PT when he will be undoubtedly besieged by questions over potential punishments for the implicated players and the validity of any of the statistics accumulated during this “Steroid Era.”
What will be interesting to see is the reaction from fans, which widely acknowledge the prevalence of usage of these illegal substances during the past fifteen years, but continue to pay big money to watch their heroes hit 500 foot bombs and throw 100 MPH fastballs. Because while baseball as a sport places so much prestige on records and statistics that are permanently altered because of the scandal, its primary function is to provide entertainment. As such, the administrators of baseball, led by Selig, which ignored the problem to generate better business are just as worthy of scorn as these players that will forever be branded as cheaters.
Photos from AP
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After reading the entire Mitchell Report all I can say, "move along, nothing to see here". I came into work late today just so I can watch the press conference live and read the report as it came out thinking that this was going to be one of the landmark moments in baseball history. As usual, it didn't live up to the hype. There weren't any names that surprised me. So Roger Clemens didn't all of a sudden go from being at the "twilight of his career" to Cy Young reincarnate naturally? You don't say?! A move to the bullpen isn't supposed to transform Eric Gagne from a borderline starter to Satchell Paige. Most of the players who had extraordinary seasons then fell off completely after injury -- Kevin Brown, Mo Vaughn, Denny Neagle -- are now exposed. As expected, most of the players implicated were borderline players trying to break into the majors. I have a newfound appreciation for the talent of the players who are doing it clean. I'm happy that MLB is finally owning up to the monster they've created because I have a 10-year old who dreams of playing in the big leagues, and he won't have to worry about juicing up to make it.
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So what happens next??? Steroids were not illegal by MLB Rules. Do we erase these guys off our consciousness. This report is 8 years too late, something should've been done by MLB and Player's Association a long time ago.
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Good question. I don't think there's anything baseball can do except maybe fine and suspend players. The breadth of steroid usage is such that I don't think there will be any asterisks or redaction of any records. I'm interested to see if Roger Clemens will be treated like Barry Bonds. I hold pre-steroid Bonds in higher esteem as a ballplayer than pre-steroid Clemens.
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SOLUTION:
Mandatory on-the-field public drug testing before every game, after warmups. It will become ceremonial, just like the 7th inning stretch.
Busted offenders get fired on the spot, and have to sit in the stands and must divvy up their remaining salary to everyone in the surrounding audience.... think of the attendance boosts.
And fuck catching a foul ball... I got 2% of Roger Clemmons' remaining $20 mil!