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Four out of the last five women who have shared my bed all said they had boyfriends when I met them. To the best of my knowledge three actually did and one was completely fibbing. I really don’t care one way or the other. And when a woman you’d like to meet (and bed) tells you that she has a boyfriend, you shouldn’t care much either.
Whenever a woman tells me she has a boyfriend I hear the sound of a zipper opening. Here's why:
As I have often said to my Speed Seduction® students (yes, disclosure, I teach this), one of the key axioms for success with women (however you might define that for yourself) is this:
“You should seldom take a woman’s first response to you as written in stone. It’s almost always just a reflection of what she is thinking, feeling and perceiving in that moment, and is almost always subject to change”.
All humans, male and female, run much of our lives on autopilot. Our responses are seldom deeply felt or thoroughly thought through. They are just what we’ve gotten into the habit of doing.
When it comes to dealing with the blizzard of stupidity that most men inflict on attractive women-- in an attempt to get into their panties--is it any wonder women have standardized responses that may not reflect their real situation? And is it any wonder that their real situation, e.g. actually having a boyfriend, may not reflect what would really please and fulfill them?
A mentor of mine once said, “Women are monkey-branchers. A monkey won’t let go completely of one branch until she has her hand firmly gripping on the next one.”
That guy was right. And he got laid. A lot.
If you want to sleep with much younger women then you definitely do NOT want to be the boyfriend. Let HIM be the one who takes her out, spends lots of money, picks her up from the airport, etc. You be the guy who enjoys teaching her all the kinky stuff that Mr. Perfect can’t even imagine.
I’ll never forget a lovely 23 year old California Pizza Kitchen waitress who was living with her “boyfriend” during our one-month affair. One day, after going at it on my living room floor, she looks at me, and quite without any guile, says to me, “Can you drop me off at home now? My boyfriend is taking me to the movies in half an hour.”
It doesn’t get much better than that.
photo by Squid via Flickr
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I'm not entirely sure this is something I would bother touting, let alone teaching. Congrats?
what the hell was the point of this, other than to induce complete disgust?
i'm sure there are more worthy lessons to pass on to a class.
I feel sorry for your students, dude.
Ten bucks says ol' Rossie-poo here has a ponytail and a pinkie ring, and stinks to high heaven of some cheap cologne.
I can't wait to go home to my loving boyfriend who actually prefers to date one woman at a time, and yet still somehow manages to have regular sex. Why? One, because he's not a sleazy loser, and two, because I have self-esteem.
wow....i didn't think you could get more douchey after that last post you made. but you definitely exceeded my expectations of how much douchebaggery one douche can master. i'm embarrassed for you, and for laist for even allowing such a DOUCHE to post on here.
ps. i wouldn't give yourself so much credit for being able to bone total whores. any fugly douche could do that, so i'm pretty sure your wonderful insights and strategies are useless. why don't you be honest with yourself and your "students" and just say that all you're really doing is sniffing out whores with low self-esteem and daddy issues.
wtf? they should totally make a show about you and your douche-bag friends and put it on VH1. you can become the laughing stock of the nation and get a couple of VDs while you're at it. yikes. i'm so embarrassed that i just read that article.
"If you want to sleep with much younger women then you definitely do NOT want to be the boyfriend."
I agree. It's gotta be really awkward to be 49 and constantly telling people "No she's my girlfriend not my daughter. And yes, that is a pinkie ring."
From his wikipedia entry: "Jeffries denies that he is a misogynist, claiming his techniques are designed to bring pleasure to both men and women through a deeper understanding of the needs of each person."
So if the 23-year old is an accurate example, women are deceitful, manipulative whores, so there's no harm in lying to get them in the sack, because they'll just lie to you anyway.
::whew:: Glad I know that now, so I can lead a life devoid of meaningful interaction (and any sort of deep, meaningful and emotionally satisfying relationship) with women!
Yes, what he's advocating is gross to us fairly normal folks, but he does have a point with the monkey-branching thing. Most of my lady friends go directly from boyfriend to boyfriend without any type of solitary re-centering phase in between. I think in general that women are more emotionally needy than men. Of course, all this constant-relationship thing must make girls' heads spin and harder to truly find themselves because they're always beholden to someone else.
lolz. you're the best writer for LAist, ross. this is really the direction LAist needs to start going.
this sucks.
wow. Laist readers, especially the comments above, kick ass.
I'm really glad that this post was here today. I find it very relevant to the topic of los angeles and want to know more. Where do I sign up to attend one of your seminars so that I too can pick up women using the proper Los Angeles method. I hope you will be covering the sub-topic of opening lines referring to great Los Angeles city monuments such as "Guess whats in my pants and looks just like Los Angeles City Hall?" or "Your breasts are as round and lovely as the hills of Griffith Park."
Goodness, we are all so touchy, aren't we?
I don't believe women are "deceitful" or "manipulative" or "whores".
What I DO believe is that the dating game and the social expectations foisted on women (and men) are quite oppressive and that many people settle for less than they really desire, either because they have limiting beliefs and skills, or because it is just inherently difficult for any one person to meet all of any other person's needs.
More importantly, in my experience, the more intelligent the woman, the better she is at compartmentalizing parts of her mind and parts of her life.
This guy over here is "boyfriend" material, but that guy over there sure is good at making me scream with pleasure when I do him. That guy is a cool f-buddy, but doesn't meet my "check list" for a long term lover or potential husband.
Sorry if it offends, but this is how most women do think and do sort through their romantic worlds. And good on them too; ***I'M**** not the one speaking of them in pejorative terms or in a pejorative way.
Guys: if you want to be good with women, you have to look at the truth of how they really think, feel and move through their worlds. And these snotty comments are as much about intimidating you away from listening as they are about tossing turds at what I am writing.
Peace and piece,
RJ
93/93
i'd like to kick this douchebag in the face, along with the person who allowed this post to be put on this site.
Holy f*ck, Laist. Did this guy sneak in and post while your editorial staff was engrossed in youtube viewings? If I needed this kind of advice to try and get laid I'd pick up a copy of Maxim.
Let's get back to work, shall we?
Goodness, we are all sooooo touchy.
I never called women "whores" or "manipulative" or "deceitful".
I'm simply acknowledging the reality that many women are not happy in their "real-hate-shun-ships" and are open to lots of exploration, and that people, male AND female, often respond on auto-pilot.
Ya'll can call me every name in the book, and it doesn't address those points.
Additionally, brighter women are very adept at compartmentalizing their thoughts, emotions, and parts of their lives, and the roles different men are there to play.
This guy over there is great at making her scream with passion, but that guy fits the boyfriend "checklist" better. This one is fun to go out with, but just doesn't make it as husband material. Etc etc.
Hey, if this doesn't happen, explain how it is that women do cheat on husbands, boyfriends, etc.
Finally, the dating game is oppressive. It creates the expectation that ONE person is going to fulfill all of our romantic needs, and sorry to slap you out of you fairy-tales, boys and girls, but that is seldom what happens in the real world.
Deal with it.
RJ
93/93
I call foul on this one. This dude is totally a bored producer just waiting for the strike to end. If you're a Los Angeles female between 21 and 38, below 120 pounds, you've dated him.
What a bunch of uptight prudes.
This place is turning rather neoconish!!
I expected this post to really piss off women, and I held off ranting in support of LAist cohesiveness. But I am really impressed that so many men have stepped up here.
I love our readers.
"Of course, all this constant-relationship thing must make girls' heads spin"
you're an idiot, thedarkocean. either that or you've actually attended one of these 'classes'.
hell, maybe both.
Five bucks says he drives a yellow Corvette, wears leather jackets, slicks his dope hair back and hangs out at the Sky bar.
Isn't there a womanizing blog that this post could be transfered to?
So...like....what are you all trying to say?
That you don't like me?
Kisses,
RJ
93/93
hey ross (hereinafter douche), it's real cute how you try to lead readers to believe that this article is about how women are just "open to exploration" and people "respond on auto-pilot." well, here is a response NOT on auto-pilot: we can all read through your bullshit. you say your article is about one thing when it's clearly about another (e.g., the line "If you want to sleep with much younger women then you definitely do NOT want to be the boyfriend").
i don't feel sorry for the men whose money you take or the women who have the unfortunate experience of sleeping with a middle aged douche who looks like he's one step away from sitting in a creepy van outside daycare centers. it's their own choice.
however, all your posts reveal to me is that you know nothing about women. when a douche such as yourself hits on me and i say i have a boyfriend, it's either because i do or because i think you're a huge douche and i'm just trying to be nice. in either case you are never going to see me naked. seems to me that my feelings are pretty well-thought through.
how does that explain why WOMEN cheat?? WOMEN cheat for the same reasons men do - because people are liars and whores, simple as that. way to keep perpetuating that shit with your sophomoric ideals.
my hope is that one day, i see you out at a bar and you actually hit on me, being that i am one of those younger women you've got a raging hard-on for. i would just love to call you out as a douche to your face.
it doesn't get much better than that.
Well, given that your level of discussion is calling me "douche" I think we'll leave it at that.
And I don't view it as "women" cheating. I view it as men and women having needs that are going unmet.
If you had confidence that you were the kind of person who could meet your partner's needs, this subject wouldn't trigger such a fearful response from you.
It is amazing that people who refuse to buy into other socially imposed roles so easily buy into the roles and labels of "the dating game" and react with such unintelligent fury when those roles and myths get challenged.
Free your mind...and your ass might follow.
RJ
93/93
i will simply rest my case with the following:
"'Speed Seduction' expert Ross Jeffries flunked an 'Extra' hidden camera test. He spent two days unsuccessfully trying to pick up women on a Santa Monica street. One of Jeffries' lines: 'If I weren't as gay as a tree full of parrots, I'd be all over you.'"
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2000/05/29/DD98632.DTL
"PICKUP GURU: ROSS JEFFRIES Biography: Single and in his late 30s, Jeffries wrote the screenplay for They Still Call Me Bruce, of which film critic Leonard Maltin once wrote, simply: "It's awful."
Inspiration: As a man in his 30s living in Southern California, he was bummed about "always being the buddy. I had no trouble meeting women, they just all wanted to be my friend," he says.
Classic work: How to Get the Women You Desire Into Bed.
Oeuvre: Secrets of Speed Seduction (audio tapes), How to Have Incredibly Beautiful Women Eating Out of the Palm of Your Hand (audio tape). Also markets How to Be the Jerk Women Love .
Approach: Ruthless, mercenary, possibly illegal. Jeffries recommends employing lies, deception and the power of suggestion to create "state changes" in women. His technique, he claims, can leave you just a "minute away from at least some seriously heavy petting, if not a fuck then and there." Jeffries's book also supplies lines to aim at "sleazoid sluts" who reject his poetic come-ons. On a Pyrrhically positive note, chronic low-self-esteem types can take heart from Jeffries's relentlessly downbeat characterization of women as shameless manipulators and exploiters.
Author's personal advice to Men's Fitness readers: "It's a lot easier to let a fish reel you in than for you to reel in a fish. Create a state connection (sort of a hypnotic condition) which gets the woman aroused, and then sit back and let her rape you."
Report from the front: No women raped us. Few women even acknowledged us. Those who did were annoyed. Jeffries's set-ups pretty much fit into two categories: straight pickup lines and outright scams. An example of the latter is sitting in a bar poring over models' photographs and telling any woman who'll listen that your sister is casting for a television movie. We stayed away from the scams and field-tested a few of Jeffries's straight pickup lines.
Location: TGI Friday's, Woodland Hills, California. Voluptuous blonde, mid-20s, hoop earrings, swigging a Corona.
Line: "By what name are you called, you shining example of genetic perfection?" (This was repeated twice for clarity.)
Response: "Did you just escape or something?"
Outcome: As instructed, we riposted with a "slashing comeback for sleazoid sluts": "You've got a little piece of snot hanging out of your nose," to which she responded: "That's disgusting. Is there something wrong with you?" Phone number: not acquired.
Rating: 0 "
http://www.4-secret.com/mens_fitness.htm
.....and you're a douche
lol
I've never seen such narrow-mindedness.
Here's some news - I've met Ross, and even attended one of his seminars.
The facts:
1. Yeah, RJ is arrogant, impatient sometimes but actually very engaging in conversation.
2. The material he teaches isn't just about Speed Seduction - those intelligent students actually learn something about themselves to open their minds, learn their limiting beliefs and ultimately improve their lives.
3. Futureperfect. Clearly you have different values or beliefs to RJ - however does that make you right, and secondly I wonder why you resort to slinging basal insults, when in fact you probably haven't got the foggiest about what Ross teaches, other than from articles written by other people also restricted by their limited beliefs.
4. I may not personally have the desire to sleep with several women at the same time, however at certain points in my life serial monogamy has been applicable to my desires at that point. Are you saying that we as humans aren't allowed to engage in short-term flings or one-night stands because YOU SAY SO? P'ah. I know more women that have flings and one-night stands that I ever have.
5. Ultimately, the skills Ross teaches enable you to get outside your own head, get control of your own emotions (without insecurities or issues getting in the way), and deal with any interpersonal situation more appropriately - i.e. with balance. You know, you'd be amazed how many people THINK they can do this, when in reality as soon as they are in a emotional pressure situation they revert to type (i.e. jump behind their wall of defenses put up by all those historical issues), rather than take the situation at face value.
6. Finally, the article you post is sooooo biased I can't actually believe that the hack who wrote it had the balls to lie so blatantly. RJ most certainly DOES NOT advocate pick up lines. At the most fundamental level he is teaching his students a PROCESS - one that a few guys already know instinctively, but that 80% only ever hit upon by pure chance. Perhaps you're just afraid that RJ is addressing the imbalance in the dating game, and you're one of those women that can't stand losing control?
Oh, and in deference to your insults - personally I think your comments have about as much appeal as sputum-filled distended rectum. (Note how that isn't a direct insult to you........)
'Nuff said.
Well, considering that women do love shoving me in their cootches and feeling refreshed and clean afterwards as a result, maybe in a sense I AM a "douche".
RJ
93/93
Wow. I'd be curious to find out why all of you are taking this post as an attempt by Ross to personally attack you. Ross is simply putting forth what HE believes is the status quo with women and dating.
Futhermore, what Ross is saying is not as controversial as you'd all like to make it seem. Simply put: some people are in relationships out of PURE CONVENIENCE, and they will not break up with their "partner" to find someone better because it is to much of a risk (God forbid you do not have a boyfriend for a month)!
If you are all in perfectly happy relationships and are completely satisfied with the person you're with, then you don't even need to be reading this post. Ross is simply encouraging people to realize that you don't have to jump into a relationship with the first person you meet that's decently attractive and not a rapist. You don't have to jump into relationships out of default. He is encouraging you to EXPLORE, to find something or someone BETTER. Obviously this is much more difficult than what most of you are used to doing, and requires fundamentally changing the way you think about relationships, but don't bash it until you've tried it. Ross is advocating CHOICE and FREEDOM... that's all.
And for all of you who keep resorting to Ad hominem arguments against Ross (come on, don't you think "douchebag" is a little immature?)... contrary to what you might believe, he looks exactly like the nerdy, middle-aged man on his webiste (every time i've seen him he was wearing a knit-sweater and slacks). Hey ... maybe they're right Ross. Maybe you should invest in some cheap cologne, hair-gel, and pinky rings, so you can fit perfectly into their stereotyped vision of you.
You people need to get off your priestly pedestals and don't get so offended when someone offers an opinion that contradicts yours!
Just do a Google image search on "Ross Jeffries" to see what I look like.
Pinky rings? No, but I do sport a "Green Lantern" ring and am proud of it.
RJ
93/93
umm.....have you resorted to making fake user accounts to make comments in support of yourself? it looks that way since #30 is from "gabe" and then the next comment is from gabea but signed by you....
DOUCHEBAGGERY AT ITS FINEST. AND YES, I AM GOING TO CONTINUE TO CALL YOU A DOUCHE. no, not the webster's definition of a douche, but the colloquialism used to refer to skeezy, fugly, men with horrible personalities and overly-inflated egos that compensate for their poor childhoods.
you're a FAILED comedy writer for a reason.
seriously LAist.....are you gonna keep allowing this guy to post on here? i'm all for 1st amendment rights, but what kind of DOUUUUUUUUUCHE writer makes fake accounts to post fake comments?
That's gotta be the quickest-outted sock puppet I've ever seen...
Ah, you caught me pretending to be Ross. Sue me, I am a big fan of his. His shit works.
GA
FP,
Calling me "douche" is no different than calling me "kike" or "christ-killer" or "jew-boy" for all it speaks to the ideas I'm expressing.
It's all name calling and it reflects entirely on your style of communicating and not at all on me or my ideas.
And it requires about the same degree of thoughtfulness and eloquence, which is to say NONE.
RJ
you're a psychopath.
FP,
I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever bad thing you say about me, bounces off me, and sticks to you.
There; I've spoken to you at the level you express yourself.
RJ
93//93
FP blarted thusly:
"how does that explain why WOMEN cheat?? WOMEN cheat for the same reasons men do - because people are liars and whores, simple as that. way to keep perpetuating that shit with your sophomoric ideals."
I don't frame it as "cheating"; I frame it as people often don't get their true needs met and are in what I call "relationships by default".
They aren't there because they are truly happy or fulfilled. They are there because they are waiting or hoping for someone better to come along.
And women most often "augment" their pleasure and fulfillment outside of their primary relationships because those relationships are just not fulfilling on many levels.
Tell you what FP; why don't you put down your issue of "Oprah" magazine and go buy a book called "The Erotic Silence Of The American Wife". Give it a good read and then bring some intelligence back to the debate.
Peace and piece,
RJ
93/93
yes RJ because this topic is SOOOOOO complex that one must rely upon experts like yourself to tell us how we feel and why. right?
you are starting to remind me of those hollywood types who have 12th grade educations to match their 5th grade intellects.
coolm