Barry Bonds was in federal court today to face the music ... sort of.

Southern California's least favorite son pleaded not guilty to four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice.

After showing off his latest threads (the wire reports had little else to say so they raved about his "impeccably tailored" look), Bonds walked back out a free man. He was essentially released on his own recognizances, but would owe Uncle Sam a cool $500,000 if he decided to skip out on the charges. It's not like his head can fit through a metal detector at airport security, anyway. This was mostly for the cameras -- little of substance actually went down.

On his website (which seems to have crashed from too much traffic), Bonds released a statement claiming, "I know that when all of this is over, I will be vindicated because I am innocent."

The most interesting development was probably his lawyer's insistence that the indictment was flawed and would result in a quick dismissal. Allen Ruby, Bonds' attorney, refused to elaborate further.

Ruby did say, with a straight face, that Bonds wants to continue playing baseball next season. Don't expect to see him in uniform again, unless it's stripes -- and we're not talking Yankee pinstripes. The current charges are just trumped up accusations that Bonds lied -- not that he actually did illegal drugs. But even if nothing is proven in court, Bonds is damaged goods. It's obvious he was doping (how French!), and he's now a media pariah. That spells N-I-G-H-T-M-A-R-E for any potential employer.

San Francisco, a city that owes Bonds for both their franchise and their ballpark, kissed him goodbye. His first manager (Jim Leland in Pittsburgh) is currently coaching in Detroit and said it isn't going to work there, either.

Bonds isn't healthy enough for another marathon season in the National League. He could survive as a DH in the American League, but wants to stay in California. Neither the A's or Angels seem interested.

Not even the biggest head (and wallet) in baseball -- George Steinbrenner -- could afford to have the Barry Bonds drama hanging over the Yankees next season.

It appears the only closure we're going to get is with his professional career.

AP photo (of court artist sketch) by Vicki Ellen Behringer.