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November 28, 2007
Industry Parties: A Growing Epidemic
There's been a lot of LA bashing around the blogosphere lately, and I have to admit, its really getting me down. I'm sure you've read articles or reader comments about how someone spent a week in LA and subsequently decided that it was like visiting the depths of hell, what with the superficial/unintelligent/unfriendly populace and a geography that leaves something to be desired.
We get it. All 3.8 million of us are uneducated douchebags with fake tits trying to get ahead by taking advantage of you.
While you and I know that this is entirely untrue, fair LAist readers, theres only one explanation I have for this recent influx in LA bashing. These haters must have all gotten their way into an industry party; the only possible place where negative LA stereotypes manifest themselves so ubiquitously through business card exchanges and spilled jack and diet cokes. Industry parties are plaguing our image, Los Angeles, and something must be done!
LAist was invited to check out one of Nissan's Live Set shows last night at the Fox Studios to see Matchbox 20 (remember them? thought not) and Samantha Ronson (made famous only through an alleged lesbian fling with Lindsay Lohan.) Sure, I thought, I work in West LA, so this shouldn't be too big of a deal, and hey, what's not fun about free booze and hobnobbing?
I don't know who the fuck this is.
Right before the event I found out that, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding I was not allowed to bring my guest who was doubling as my photographer - because he dared to accept the invite to actually photograph the red carpet part of the event. So instead of having him wait in the car as I partied, I chose to go stag, and alas I was alone with my pathetic point-and-shoot among a sea of huge Canon lenses. Great, I thought, these photographers will be snapping 20 frames per second and I'll be standing there with what might as well be a disposable camera.
"Paris, Paris hold on! (click click click click) ok give us a smile!"
The guy that flies from Heroes? I don't know I only saw one episode.
Standing there on the red carpet, watching publicists whisper their clients' names to the photographers before they enter, I couldn't help but stand there staring. "Ooooh, get ready guys, the girl who plays that girl in that one episode of that cable show is coming! (snap snap snap flash flash flash...)"
But who am I to question? I'll just shoot when they shoot.
Peter Jackson or an extra on Californication? You decide.
After a while my back started to hurt, and I got my one picture of Paris, so I decided to ditch the camera and head in to party. But see, here's the thing. I knew I was going to a "celebrity" event, so I was dressed nicely (much to the confusion of fellow photographers who had been told at the last minute that they would not be allowed into the Matchbox 20 show because they were omg photographers).
However, as I strolled in and ordered my vodka red bull, I couldn't help but notice how conversations were stopping in order to stare at me. Not just brief evaluations of my appearance. I'm talking head to toe stares of bewilderment and condescension. Seeing as I immediately decided that no one was going to talk to me, I decided to go outside and start chatting up a nice couple.
"Oh hey there, I got a great picture of you on the carpet!" (shows picture)
"Oh great, and what do you do?"
"I write for a website, its called LAist"
"Never heard of it."
"Oh well its a great site and..." (person turns around and talks to someone else)
Fuck it. I'm out of here.
So to those who are still indecisive about LA, I say go ahead. Get it out of your system and check out one of these parties for yourselves. You'll be cognitively sound knowing that it fulfilled every stereotype that you've ever heard about Los Angeles and you can go home happy that you have more wholesome peers. Just keep in mind that the "biz" is just a small fraction of what LA is all about, so judge accordingly.
Top image by Word Freak via flickr, all others by Ali Miller for LAist.
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Brilliant! I so heart you right now Ali.
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I'm from LA but have been a vagabond the past 5 years. Everywhere I go I get more of the "LA is so fake" and "You're from 'hell-LA?" I get frustrated and I had to figure out why. I mean, I grew up in LA, went to college and worked in LA and I never really had that problem (obviously I didn't go to usc). I came to the conclusion that it's the rest of America's fault. I knew Hollywood was the culprit and I realized everyone from all over was coming to try to get into the Industry. Thus THEY were the ones giving real Los Angelinos a bad name. I believe that the 2% of crap from every state (yes, you too Alaska) comes to LA to make it in the Biz and when you put that many plastics and douchebags in one place the results are inevitably what we get in the aforementioned blog.
Just my $0.02.
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These things happen at non industry parties as well.
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sprtpsych:
well-observed !
- f'ing douchebags ehh?!
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Could you specify which industry you are talking about when you say "industry party"?
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It's funny cause sadly, its true. The posting and the above comment is something my native angeleno friends and I have all discussed in length! First of all, we love this city and always hear others bitching about it being so fake and crappy, yet the people complaining are the ones who only go to the industry parties, the cheesy side of the sunset strip or Mood or whatever club is hot at the moment, and never visit the real Los Angeles.
Second, yes, it is out-of-towners who kill it for the rest of us and make us all look bad. I have worked at clubs and bars from the westside to echopark and have met so many lame aspiring "actors and actresses" who don't know how to act like a normal human being once they get to the big city.
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The sunset strip could host the '08 Douchebag olympics. Events include the Bro Fist pound-off, the ten second cologne douse, the hairgel agility test, and the "who in their right mind would pay $300 for a bottle of Smirnoff just so they can be a VIP" challenge. Put on your douchiest striped shirt and join the fun.
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Ive found the fakes no worse here in LA than any other metro areas around the globe. Ive met a fair number of finance/bank/investment bods in London would give any aspiring actor/ess a run for their money on straight up vapid doucheness.
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God the greatest was the party for the Germs' movie, at some premiere-friendly club in Hollywood. (Search the archives for Elise's writeup.) The punkers didn't know how to navigate through the red-carpet people - several people who had been portrayed by actors IN THE MOVIE were treated like scum by the handlers - and the red-carpet people seemed miffed at not being taken seriously enough.
And the only free alcohol was LIGHT BEER!
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TarPitRob - Love you!
That Germs party was such a funny culture clash. They were so shocked that people did not respect the sanctity of the velvet rope. Like they didn't even know it was possible for people to climb over a velvet rope.
Somehow Hellin Killer and I had to become the liasons between the confused event staff and the irritated punkers.
The DJ was playing such Top 40 crap people were screaming at him. Don Bolles had a fit over the music and threatened to leave, getting all tangled up in the velvet ropes. Someone with an earbud and clipboard shouted at me, "How was I supposed to know I had to get a SPECIAL DJ?" I had to make the DJ play CDs we grabbed out of our cars! I understand he is a pro, but at some point look at your audience. He had such a 'tude, and I was like, "Look at these people. Do you want a riot? Now play some David Bowie already."
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I've always said that the stereotypical Angeleno that everybody hates isn't actually from here. All thos negative qualities are usually attached to someone who moved here to make it
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I saw the Wyclef show at the Nissan Live Sets and it was nothing like this! No Cameras for norms, only the industry attendants (of whom I saw not one celeb) and not a drop of Alcohol in sight! WTF!?!
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i was at wycef too
this was a very different set up, from what it appears.
i think MB20 did a normal "set" earlier in the night, and then played this industry party at the same location later at night.
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I see! Wyclef was awesome, but it felt industry too! No one barely was into it! And they way he was talking about poor college kids, sounded like an intern industry party!