When Staring Isn't Enough

A couple of weekends ago, my friend and I went bar hopping in LA. On our last stop, we headed into, in my opinion, the shittiest dive bar off of Sunset Blvd. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to it, yet my friend convinced me that I should turn the frown upside down and make the most out of the evening. Once inside, we realized it was cash only, and neither of us had any bills. Being the resourceful person that she is, my friend went around the bar chatting up any guy she could so that he could buy us drinks.

While she was doing this, I entertained myself by taking a look at the bar crowd before me. There, by the pool table, stood the hottest guy in a red flannel. He had dark brown hair with green eyes, olive skin and a bit of scruff that even I could enjoy. Man, he was so handsome, especially for a hipster.

It was totally one of those moments when you see someone and you’re so physically attracted to him or her that you blush. And we both blushed, but then I quickly turned away because I didn’t want to seem too excited. As a means to keep it cool, I waited a couple of minutes before I looked back. When I did, I caught him staring at me, but this time with a grin. We totally eye-fucked for a solid ten seconds and it was hot. At this point I thought it would only be moments before he would walk over to talk to me. But he didn’t and I was left with a big “WTF?” above my head for the rest of the evening.

Why didn’t the red flannel grow a pair and talk to me? Is it cause he’s so hot girls usually talk to him? Obviously I have interested written on my face. "Well, why didn't you just talk to him," you may be asking. I guess I could have, but guys hate that shit. Okay, some men like it when the women are the aggressor, but generally the males love to do the chasing and subsequent conquering. From what I’ve experienced, it doesn’t work when it’s done the other way around.

Am I right, am I right? Or do I just seem to fall for cocky assholes? Tell me what I need to do to ensure success.


Photo by netamir via Flickr

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Comments (23) [rss]

he probs has a girlfriend.

otherwise, I think guys *do* dig being chased. every boyfriend I've ever had I've gone after like a wild thing. it's worked out well.

Yeah, who told you men don't like agressive women? That whole crap about guys having to talk first is crap. I can talk to women, and I consider myself attractive, but I like the women better that come after me- granted they are usually crazy but they are also usually fun- and better in the sack! Your friend who was fishing for drinks make guys gunshy about hitting on every girl we get a look from, so if you want something you better just go get it!

Too many people act pretentious when flirting. I understanding playing a little hard to get, but I notice people act disinterested when they're interested. We need more honesty in flirting out there.

if you want it.. go after it.

i'm a super aggressive chick and i pretty much feel if i go up to a guy and he shoots me down- he couldn't handle me anyways.

i have met many very attractive guys who are still shy/insecure from the awkward school days..it would be a shame if i let them miss the tour of my bedroom.


He might have just been in it for the eye-fucking.

Or more than likely he had a girlfriend.

Why is it that women don't get approached in a situation like this that they assume it is because the guy doesn't have "a pair"?

At any rate, if you'd made the move, no matter what happened after, you wouldn't be wondering about it all now. Guys, overwhelmingly, don't "hate that shit".

No guy I know, myself included, would be upset with a girl initiating a conversation. Whats bad is when the girl is ultra aggressive to the point where they are being controlling (the guy will think you're just looking to get laid or be put off and lose interest - sorry, its generally true).

Its sounds like you and your friend were at the extremes. Don't approach everyone and their mother, but don't just sit around and wait for something to happen either.

Blazing Shark, You are a Saint

wakeupkeo- i'm not opposed to seeing some pix
sneakyemail@gmail.com

wakeupkeo- i'm not opposed to seeing some pix
sneakyemail at gmail.com

Yeah, I much prefer a woman to talk to me. I've heard too many female friends "complain" about some guy "coming up to them out of nowhere" and trying to talk to them. I'd like to not be one of those guys.

He probably figured that a woman at "the shittiest dive bar off of Sunset Blvd" wasn't worth meeting.

There is too much info missing. Was he alone? Was he playing pool? A guy can't always just up and leave. Maybe some guy was standing near you and he thought it was your boyfriend. Since you had no drink, maybe he assumed your boyfriend was getting you one.

After the eye-fucking, you could also have moved on to stage two of nonverbal flirting - tilt your head and raise your eyebrows, like "Well?" Or lift your chin and move your hair to expose your neck. Toy with the collar of your shirt. Laugh and crook your finger at him.

And wasn't there ANYTHING on the other side of him, like say the bathroom, or the juke box that you needed to check out? Maybe you needed to look at the chalkboard to see how many people were waiting for pool games? You don;t have to walk right up to him, but proximity helps. You can meet him half-way.

At some point he has to get a drink or use the bathroom. Good time to happen to walk past.

And hey, where did your friend go? Aren't you looking for your lost friend? Good way to wander the room aimlessly, and if he catches your eye, say, "Have you seen mt friend? She's a brunette in a red sweater?" Nice opening for him to know you're alone.

OR, maybe he sees your girl obviously cadging drinks and thinks you are up to the same game. Oops. Next time instead of cadging for drinks, wander around asking cute guys where the ATM is. Then at least if they offer to buy your drink since there is no cash machine it's all on the up-and-up.

Elise, you're such a wealth of information.

Can I take you wherever I go?

Can you tell us what bar were you at?

I'm guessing Little Joy. A shithole, yet haven of cute hipster boys, pool tables, a decent juke box and the dreaded cash only bar.

april smear,

if this person was by the pool table at little joy, with black glasses, brown hair, and a red flannel shirt, i think i know who you're talking about. email emily@indieclick.com for more details.

Hey April,

I believe you are talking about me. I wasn't staring, I have a lazy green eye.

Tell your friend to carry cash.

Thanks,

Lazygreeneyedloverman

dudes, idea for a new feature!!!

LAIST MISSED CONNECTIONS people are you hearing me???

Maybe he was GAY? I don't know thought I'd be the one to throw it out there since no one else did.

Maybe he was GAY? I don't know thought I'd be the one to throw it out there since no one else did.

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