Extra, Extra: I Was Born On a Pirate Ship

• If you have been thirsty lately and don't know why, perhaps it was the news that the Metropolitan Water District is about to cut water to Southern California agriculture by 30 percent. As a result, your bill could rise of 10 percent. It may be time to move into the ocean.
• "Nasty," Aggravating" and "Snotty" are words usually meant for our beloved President from critics near and far. Well, if Bush was the Santa Ana wind, it would be so.
• Someone, a great person, really, is building a pirate ship in their Burbank backyard!
• Wayne Gretzky is having a garage sale in Westlake Village. Yes, that Gretzky and, no, it's not what you think. It's a fundraiser for two schools in the area. It's funny, I was just thinking how schools in Westlake were in dire need of a new cappuccino machine.
• The report on the May Day melee is coming out tomorrow. You remember that, right? A bunch of angry anarchists got in the way of otherwise peace-loving policemen who were so flummoxed they were forced to use non-lethal force. Oh, wait.
• Two young girls were injured after being struck by a car this morning in Hancock Park. The driver reportedly tried to leave the scene, but was convinced that he was "improperly leaving the scene of the accident," police said. Um, maybe if it was something like this, instead.
• Gov. Arnold declared a state of emergency in La Jolla. La Jolla!
• And, finally. What the hell is going on in Wisconsin?

Photo by kpe II via the LAist Featured Photos pool on Flickr