LAist Armchair Quarterback Week 3: Get Rex Off the Field!!!!!

Kansas City Chiefs over Minnesota Vikings 13-10. The Chiefs won a game? For reals?

New England Patriots over Buffalo Bills 38-7. This just isn’t fair is it? Coincidentally this is the third consecutive game the Pats have scored 38 points.

New York Jets over Miami Dolphins 31-28. Jet QB Chad Pennington went 15-22 for 124 yards and two touchdowns. I wonder if Jet fans booed Pennington in his seven incompletions.

Philadelphia Eagles over Detroit Lions 56-21. As ugly as those uniforms were, if I were the Eagles I would wear those unis every week if they ensured 56 points. Fun fact: Lion QB Jon Kitna outpassed Eagle QB Donavon McNabb 446 yards to 381 yards.

Pittsburgh Steelers over San Francisco 49ers 37-16. The sign of a strong team is how they perform in the fourth quarter. While leading 17-9, the Steelers rattled off 20 points in the 4th while only allowing a touchdown.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers over St. Louis Rams 24-3. Whenever the Rams do badly I smile. You should’ve seen the grin I had after this game.

Baltimore Ravens over Arizona Cardinals 26-23. The Cardinals made it very interesting in the fourth quarter, but as usual they lost. By the way, aren’t the Ravens supposed to be better than this?

Indianapolis Colts over Houston Texans 30-24. I came close to picking the Texans to win this game, but with leading receiver Andre Johnson out of the game with a sprained knee who were they kidding? But I wouldn’t be surprised if the Texans make it to the playoffs this season.

Jacksonville Jaguars over Denver Broncos 23-14. I don’t know how I had the foresight to pick this game correctly, but it happened.

Oakland Raiders over Cleveland Browns 26-24. How cute. The Raiders used the same time out strategy that cost them the game last week against the Broncos to win this game.

Seattle Seahawks over Cincinnati Bengals 24-21. One of the staff accountants at work told me he thought the Bengals would get to the Superbowl. I told him they had no chance since they had no defense. He said their offense would take care of business. Well their offense didn’t do quite enough in this game, and their two-minute defense absolutely failed them.

Carolina Panthers over Atlanta Falcons 27-20. If this had been any other opponent the Panthers would have lost. But this being the Falcons. Well you know.

New York Giants over Washington Redskins 24-17. I left to go to our LAist cabal meeting during halftime of this game when the score was 17-3 with Washington on top. What the fuck happened?

Dallas Cowboys over Chicago Bears 34-10. It’s sad when I pick against my team.

Tennessee Titans over New Orleans Saints 31-14. Now that’s the Saints that we all know and love. And that’s why I became a Bears fan when I was growing up in Louisiana back in the early 80s.

Top 5

1. New England Patriots (3-0). Although they look like they can go undefeated, they’ll lose a game. Maybe.
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (3-0). They do it on offense. They do it on defense. First year head coach Mike Tomlin is making this coaching business look real easy.
3. Indianapolis Colts (3-0). The Colts keep on winning. Sometimes it’s not pretty. Whatever gets the job done I suppose.
4. Green Bay Packers (3-0). Finally I can put an NFC team without guilt here. I’m putting the Packers above the Cowboys for the simple fact that the Packers won over better teams than the Cowboys.
5. Dallas Cowboys (3-0). Two NFC teams? The Cowboys looked awfully good against the Bears on Sunday. Their next test comes on October 14 at home against the Patriots. Terrell Owens vs. Randy Moss. That’ll be a doozy.

Bottom 5

28. St. Louis Rams (0-3). What happened to the offense? What happened to Stephen Jackson? They can’t play at home, they can’t play on the road, they just can’t play. Hehehe. I hope owner Georgia Frontiere is quite happy. That devil-cock-sucking-bitch-whore deserves as much.
29. New Orleans Saints (0-3). It didn’t take long for them to reclaim their rightful place in the cellar. Their defense can’t stop anyone, and the entire league has caught up with their offense. Unless head coach Sean Payton can come up with something fresh, the Aint’s will be reborn.
30. Miami Dolphins (0-3). Have they found a replacement for Dan Marino yet?
31. Buffalo Bills (0-3). The Bills need to fire Dick Jauron. I have no idea what he’s doing as a head coach in this league.
32. Atlanta Falcons (0-3). The Falcons snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against the Panthers on Sunday thanks to cornerback DeAngelo Hall. He had a 37-yard pass interference, a 15-yard unnecessary roughness and a 15-yard taunting calls against him in the final Panther touchdown drive that sealed the game.

AP Photo by Nam Y. Huh