It's Sex Saturday! That means April Smear is going to post a rant or question about all things sex. Let’s create a dialogue and attempt to understand the sexual underbelly of Los Angeles!

A couple years ago, I met this really, really hot guy. He looked exactly like Brandon Walsh from 90210 and exuded so much confidence that I would do anything he wanted. One night, we ended up kissing and he asked me back to his place. We arrived at his condo and immediately started hooking up. Brandon Walsh proceeded to rip off my clothes and go down on me for an hour. I looooved every minute of pleasure and orgasm he provided. Truly, a wet dream come true

Then, when I was all worked up and ready to have sex, Brandon Walsh couldn’t get a boner.

“Okay, this is fine,” I thought. We had been drinking earlier, so maybe he drank too much and was unable to achieve an erection. I hear this shit happens every once and awhile. I told myself to just go to sleep, and then in the morning, when he’s not drunk or whatever, we could have sex. I love morning sex! But even in the morning, he couldn’t get hard.

“Is there anything I can do?” I asked. He repeatedly said, “Oh, I’m just nervous,” and would shrug it off. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think there’s anything nerve-racking about having a good-looking, naked woman under you wanting to have sex. But like the naïve young girl I was, I accepted it and continued to go out with him. When it came down to getting physical, all he wanted to do was get me off albeit without intercourse.

We went out six more times. Each occasion, he couldn’t get an erection. It should be mentioned that he produced a semi-hard on twice, for one minute. Close, but no cigar. I was left pondering all the things I was doing wrong. Nothing makes a woman feel un-sexier than when she can’t get her man to full arousal. It was one of the most frustrating things to go through, and at one point I started to question my sexual approach to men.

“Maybe he’s not attracted to me,” I thought. If so, then why did he keep asking me out? Why was everything hot up until sex time?

While hanging out with him, Brandon Walsh revealed that he had ADD. I then considered that perhaps his medication affected his ability to achieve boner status. I thought this to be so much the case, I even went on Wikipedia, looked up prescribed meds for ADD sufferers, and tried to find out if erectile dysfunction was a side effect. Unfortunately for me, only one medication listed mild ED as a side effect. In addition, I didn’t see any pill bottles in Brandon Walsh’s home or car. I don’t think that was the problem.

I’ve come to the conclusion that he was gay. Am I far off in thinking this? Later, I found out that Brandon Walsh had the same problem with another girl, and since he couldn’t achieve an erection, offered to brush the girl’s hair as a consolation. What the eff?

I may know a lot of things about sex, but I am completely clueless as to what occurred in this situation. Sometimes I see Brandon Walsh and I think, “How could something good go so wrong?” I still have yet to figure out what the hell happened.

Thoughts or suggestions? I hope the LAist community can provide me with the answer to one of the biggest conundrums of my life.

top photo by sninky-chan, middle photo by Broken Piggy Bank, both via Flickr