Two extortionists have been arrested for trying to blackmail Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

David Hans Schmidt got his hands on some photos of the blessed wedding of the oh-so-happy couple. Schmidt wanted one million bucks for the return of the pics. But when he contacted Holmes and Cruise, they didn't reach for their checkbook -- they contacted the FBI.

The Smoking Gun explains that Schmidt specializes in peddling sex tapes and nude photos of the famous and the almost famous. Seems like he typically gets 'em from slightly disgruntled exes. This Schmidt, he's known as the Sultan of Sleaze, at least, he's got the moniker this week. (Previously John Waters claimed that crown).

Unlucky Marc Lewis Gittleman, who apparently abetted Schmidt, is the other man arrested in the scheme. See what happens when you name your data recovery company something sleazy like Hard Drive 911?

But what I want to know is, what's so terrible about the wedding pictures? Illicit kissing of non-spouses? Dancing worse than this week's funky chicken? Are thetans plainly visible?

Ah well. At least Tom and Katie are safe.