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Music fans around the world are issuing a collective torrent of vomit after reading reports that French-Canadian pop crooner Celine Dion will sing a specially penned tune during the 2007 Oscar tribute to legendary Italian composer Ennio Morricone.
Morricone, who has scored over 500 films and TV series, is known for his haunting musical accompaniments to such films as The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, Danger: Diabolik, The Mission, The Untouchables and Cinema Paradiso, among many others. For the tribute, which will be part of the 2007 Oscar ceremony, Dion is expected to sing lyrics that have been specifically written to accompany the score for Once Upon a Time in America, according to E!
A quick survey of Morricone fans revealed a steady stream of shock, dismay and horror. "Celine Dion sucks giant massive donkey turds," said Esmerelda DeQuango, 23, a high-stakes online journalist and self-professed film score aficionado. "Could they have found anybody who's less appropriate than her? How about Paris Hilton or Ted Nugent or that guy who sings the tagline for Ford truck commercials?"
Los Angeles-based couturier Sebastian Lucien Thoresen III, 42, who specializes in gentlemen's handkerchiefs, echoed those sentiments. "I know the Academy is run by a passel of senile, middle-brow toadies, but this is ridiculous even for them. Celine Dion singing an Ennio Morricone song sounds about as appealing as a pickle dipped in chocolate."
The international response has been equally dismal. "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!" was all Pierluigi Avellino, 56, of Florence could say.
DeQuango added, "Strictly out of curiosity, is the Academy deliberately trying to ruin their Morricone tribute? Or are they just totally clueless?"
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Would you stop shitting all over Celine already! Just wait to see the results. She can actually sing live, unlike many other singers nowadays! And the track was produced by Quincy Jones! So you might be the only clueless ones after all. If Quincy agreed to work for Celine (and Phil Spector did too way back when), it just shows you they know what talent is, unlike you dumb critics. Can't wait to see Celine at the Oscars! Celine, once again, show the world what you ONCE AGAIN can do... Some people just try to make money on you!
I also find myself in the curious position of defending Celine on this one. I'm listening to Morricone's "Fistful of Film Music" Anthology on my iTunes right now. The vocals that accompany Morricone's orchestrations are definitely the weakest link on the CD. Joan Baez is not the world's greatest singer either, but I could certainly imagine Celine singing "The Ballad of Sacco and Vanzetti" or "Here's to You". It's certainly in Celine's vocal range. Having said that, "Il Giardino Delle Delizie" is the most kick ass Morricone song evar.
Esmerelda DeQuango, how deaf, blind, and ignorant of you to compare one of the music world's greatest treasures to a lowlife such as Paris Hilton. You have no appreciation and respect for what Celine Dion is: She is the epitome of class, of refinement, of philanthropy, of humanity - something that will take a rebirth of you to appreciate and comprehend. Sebastian Lucien Thoresen III - THAT NAME sounds as appealing as Howard Stern in a bathing suit, dipped in chocolate!
Ennio Morricone himself was elated to hear that Celine is on his album... that CELINE HEADLINE his album! SO THERE! Celine Dion has performed more times at the Oscars in the last decade; and each time, performing masterpieces to standing ovations. If she's sold at least 230 million records, have at least 25 million people buy tickets to see her live in her career, have more than 2.5 million people have been flocking from around the globe for the last four years to a sell-out Colosseum / Production that Caesars and partners shelled out about a billion dollars in investment, won so many awards she had to buy an extra mansion to shelve them, and whose GOLDEN VOICE GIVEN BY GOD launched all of these successes... if you don't recognize this as SUCCESS, YOU MUST NOT BE ALIVE!
Esmerelda DeQuango, how deaf, blind, and ignorant of you to compare one of the music world's greatest treasures to a lowlife such as Paris Hilton. You have no appreciation and respect for what Celine Dion is: She is the epitome of class, of refinement, of philanthropy, of humanity - something that will take a rebirth of you to appreciate and comprehend. Sebastian Lucien Thoresen III - THAT NAME sounds as appealing as Howard Stern in a bathing suit, dipped in chocolate!
Ennio Morricone himself was elated to hear that Celine is on his tribute album... that CELINE is HEADLINING his album! SO THERE! Celine Dion has performed more times at the Oscars in the last decade; and each time, performing masterpieces to standing ovations. If she's sold at least 230 million records, have at least 25 million people buy tickets to see her live in her career, have more than 2.5 million people have been flocking from around the globe for the last four years to a sell-out Colosseum / Production that Caesars and partners shelled out about a billion dollars in investment JUST FOR HER, won so many awards she had to buy an extra mansion to shelve them, and whose GOLDEN VOICE GIVEN BY GOD launched all of these successes... if you don't recognize this as SUCCESS, YOU MUST NOT BE ALIVE!
Celine Dion rocks!!!! YOUUUUU (and not her!) are a poor shit...you don't even have the courage to put a sign under your article. Shame on you!
Celine Dion is of course banality personified with her overemphasis on melisma and a completely un-nuanced, over-the-top delivery - but if she's good enough for Il Maestro, that's good enough for me.
Get lost and do some reasearch Elina Shatkin! Search the youtube and Enninmo Morricone and Celine and you will find that he wants Celine to do this for him...that is if your smart enough to understand the language! Funny how out of all the team members of the editors on this website - your the only one not to include a picture of yourself...why is that? probably 'cos your so damn ugly - just like how damn ugly your are inside! STOP hating Celine jackass!
that is if your smart enough to understand the language!
Its sad...a loser attacking the best selling female artist of all time and the best voice out there just so some jackasses out there like himself will laugh for 5seconds and maybe read one of his articles again...lol you're SO pathetic
Best-selling female artist of all time?
I thought Mariah Carey was #1.
that was only in the 90s!
What in the name of God is wrong with you? Celine is one of the most reconized sounds in the world. This is totally nonsense , your comments are completely ignorant, that you are not a fan does not mean that you can have respect for a real singer,entertainer and a great human being. Unlike you that seats behind a computer to write horrible critics and then forgoten after just 5 mins , thats sad!
Please theres more in this world to write about then Celine Dion not being part of your taste of singers, its obviuos that you know absolutely nothing about music and great performers.This is a slap in the face for the many millions of people around the WORLD who follow the greatest singer in the world. People like should not be allowed to be in the public eye , you are worthless!
In fairness to my pals at the Academy, it's probably the show's producers, not the Academy itself that are responsible for the Celine Dion choice.
Not that it makes it any less reprehensible.
Get lost hater! Celine's one of the best singers of all time - who would you rather have Britney Spears FFS? No effing way!
Great writing - you should send it to the Onion, along with the kool-aid fueled responses!
And, wow, is that the scale??
From Celine Dion...to Britney Spears?
That's the scale?
Well imo she's one of the worst singers that sells records! unlike Celine! so eat that hater! Celine's the best!
I've heard her the leaked MP3 of "I Knew I Loved You" and Celine does a fine job. Her live rendition on Oscar night is sure to be a respectful and classy tribute.
I think if there's one thing we should all come together on, it's hating Celine Dion's music.
Terry Rose, you couldn't be more ignorant if you tried! Celine's music is inspirational. When my daughter died in a car crash a friend suggested the song Fly by Celine and it showed me how i was feeling! Maybe you ought to listen to her music before writing such ignorant crap! your nothing, your comment or opinion is meaningless. You clearly don't listen to Celine's music in the first place otherwise you would have realised how inspriational her music is! so get lost JACKASS!
You needed Celine Dion to show you how you were feeling? What's next - Barbra Streisand managing your 401K?
Short Attention Sp, wtf are you on!? When i said it showed me, it explained to me how i was feeling. When was the last time you listened to an influential and inspirational song with feeling, eh? Let me guess - the Paris Hilton song! pff - IDIOT!
Elina,
Thanks for your article and the solidarity of sentiment. I cannot believe the horrible mismatch that has Celine Dion SINGING Ennio Morricone. Ugh. It is grotesque. And there will be close-ups of key emotional moments during the performance. Again I have to say Ugh.
I'll never cease to be amazed when people equate popularity with quality.
"...she's sold at least 230 million records, have at least 25 million people buy tickets to see her live in her career, have more than 2.5 million people have been flocking from around the globe for the last four years to a sell-out Colosseum / Production..."
...and McDonald's has sold billions of hamburgers.
Celine Dion is popular, not good.
what a pathetic analogy! that proves nothing! Of course Celine is good - that's why she's won VOCAL performances awards at Grammys!
Rob, That's right, Celine's popular, but she's not good.. She JUST GREAT! Go back and re-read my whole post a few more times, maybe you will understand how high-quality Celine Dion is. Even if you (and the others) don't like her music, at least show some respect for the person that she is.
And after you (and you other people) understand, maybe you can go and reward yourselves with a half-pound burger and fries... EAT TO YOUR HEALTH!
Awesome! I should come back here more often. I'm getting flamed by the flamers.
Regarding the Grammy Commitee's ability to judge quality, I'll just say this one thing: Best New Artist - Milli Vanilli.
Celine's over-the-top emoting is like heating sake, adding flavoured syrup to already crappy coffee, or putting a skirt on a pig. No matter how you dress it up, it still stinks.
sad sad sad...There is no better than Celine..all you celine haters are just a bunch of a$$ suckers...so get lost!
CELINE DION = PERFECTION !!!
Some people really do make me laugh!! ha ha!!
I cant believe how unsensitive people can be!
Music can help you through a difficult period and i believe celines music can do that,, and for some one to take the pi$$ because celines music helped through grief, shows that people can be cold hearted!!
You havent even heard the song any way! So how can you $hit on it!!??
You may not agree on liking her music but no one can deny that celine has one of the best voices in the world! FACT!
Morricone wanted Celine, so shut up o.k.!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF? What is up with critics dissing Celine? It's not like you can sing, can you? She is the best selling female artist, and deservably, in the world. So I guess you're saying a huge population of the world doesn't have taste? Looks like your editor-in-chief made a bad judgement hiring you...
Okay, so I'm a little embarrassed to be posting this, mainly because I'd rather not be associated with some other people's, ahem, eloquent, defenses of Ms. Dion here. But...
The premise behind this whole post is just so ridiculous.
"Strictly out of curiosity, is the Academy deliberately trying to ruin their Morricone tribute?"
Do you really believe that they wouldn't have consulted Mr. Morricone on this? Do you really think think that if he was insulted by their choice of singer, they wouldn't have asked someone else?
Did it ever occur to you that Mr. Morricone may not share your distaste for Ms. Dion?
hey what dot you expect here last name is Shatkins(more like shitkins). She is very familiar with fecal matter.. She is shit, what she writes is shit and her opinion is shit !!! Shit !!! lol got that off my chest.