Noonish Newsish for a Friday

- Bam's Uncle Vincent "Don Vito" Margera will be arraigned next month for allegedly fondling two 12-year old girls and a 14 year old girl last year in Colorado - AP

- Lancaster burglars toss yapping ratdog into freezer - Daily News

- Forget the Denise Richards up-bikini-bottom shot... is that Bill Maher she's with at the beach? - dlisted

- Happy 60th birthday Farrah Fawcett, you're now cancer-free - AP

- Gunmen hold up a night school in the Valley - Daily News

- The USC student athlete gravy train of A's and B's that runs thru LA Trade Tech College has unofficially ended - LA Times

- Whitney Houston is trying to fast track her divorce to Bobby Brown in an OC divorce court - AP

- Watch out John Mayer, Johnny Knoxville is splitting from his wife - Us

- President of Taco Bell offers KFed a job - Pop Sugar

photo by Thomas Hawk