AM News for Friday the 13th Mwahahahaha

Allow top-rated Howard Stern to leave, lose Brooke Burke to the hit show "Rockstar", replace red-carpet icon Joan Rivers with no-names, and give Ryan Seacrest $21 million to host a news show that loses ratings and what do you get? You now get to ruin G4. Heck of a job Ted - AP

After Mel Gibson got popped for that DUI, he had beers for breakfast while explaining to his kids what he had gone through - The Australian

Darkness singer quits to stay off drugs. Will go solo. - Billboard

LA School Board disses Mayor Tony and picks a Navy Vice Admiral with "little classroom experience" to be their new Superintendent. - AP

Mark Foley's aide sticks to his story, in a closed-door hearing with Congress, that Hassert knew about the GOP's lust for teen boys years ago - AP via Martini Republic who has a roundup

E. coli found in Salinas Valley cow poop - LA Daily News

Dodgers VP of Scouting quits after just two years - Dodgers.com

Hilary Duff and Joel Madden actually think that they matter enough to get stalked - TMZ

The Head of the British Army sez they must cut and run from Iraq soon - BBC

photo by Jk*** via flickr