Cobb

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 14:17:28 -0800

Dear Hurting, Cobb's Rule #2 There is Marriage, and there is everything else. Or more to the point, there's a reason why human beings do Marriage and have for thousands of years. It's an evolved, complex, civilizing human behavior, like wearing clothing, telling the truth and putting the toilet seat down. You don't have to do it, but you'll inevitably feel the pain of trying your own unique alternatives. Did I say evolved? Perhaps I should say 'evolving'. Because there's no question that marriage in the 21st century is superior to marriage of the 18th century. The basic, fundamental, no-holds barred rule of marriage is this: You are committed to the marriage more than you are committed to yourself, and you stand up in front of everybody you love and respect and say so. If you can't do that, for whatever reason, it's like.. i don't know.. having a part-time job. You can't complain if you don't have enough gas money or party money on a part-time job. That's what you expect. So it might be harsh, but I look at everyone who's not married as someone with lower expectations. That's why I come out of my hidey hole to talk smack. Just to point out the contradiction now that you just got fired from your part-time job. The only way to get married is to jump off the cliff in a leap of faith. It's no more emotionally difficult than moving in with somebody. In fact, it's easier because you don't have to worry or plan for an exit strategy. It's got that element of simplicity working for it. The complex part of marriage is what to do when you change and your spouse changes. That's really the only challenge. So ask yourself this question - because it's a question your going to have to deal with whether or not you get married. How am I going to find love if X happens to me? X being: I gain 50 pounds, I change my religion, I move to Detroit, my parents die, I pierce my lip, I win the lottery, my car explodes, my phone gets cut off... whatever. If you think that you'll be the same person and you still need love, then all you have to do is find somebody else who thinks the same way and marry them. The love will be there. So long as you know how to love, you know you'll stay alive. The question is whether or not you'll be satisfied with part-time.

LAist: Living In Sin: Heart of Darkness

Cobb