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The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation released a study today about the decline of gay characters in network television, the LA Daily News reports, and the results are shocking. Apparently GLAAD does not consider long-time Simpsons regular Waylon Smithers a homosexual man!
Colorful pie charts and detailed lists that complain that there are only two gay lead characters on broadcast tv (ABC, CBS, Fox, NBC, The CW and MyNetworkTV), just seven supporting characters and a mere 5 recurring roles, blatantly miss the fact that Mr. Burns' right hand man couldn't be more light in the loafers. And if you think GLAAD disqualified Fox's "The Simpsons", think again, one of the recurring characters that is included as on the list is one of Marge's chain-smoking sisters, Patty Bouvier.
Dear Members of GLAAD, although we are not in the business of outting any member of the Hollywood community, particularily our animated brothers and sisters, check that, ESPECIALLY our our colored brethren -- let's just review a few facts from the life of Smithers, none of which individually screams gay, but collectively is quite revealing:
- owns the largest Malibu Stacy collection in the world - Simpson Archive
- in "The Telltale Head" When Burns is overcome with emotion, he tells Smithers that he loves him. Smithers replies, "The feeling is more than mutual, sir." - Area51
- in "Homer the Smithers" When Smithers goes on vacation he enters an all-male disco. - Duff Brewery
- in "Brush with Greateness" Marge asks Smithers why he tolerates the abusive and cranky Mr. Burns, Smithers sighs, ""I value every moment we're together, from when I squeeze his orange juice in the morning, to when I tuck him in at night." - Simpson Crazy
- in "Lady Bouvier's Lover" Mr. Burns asks a jealous Smithers to help him compose a love letter to Marge. Smithers, without missing a beat says, "Darling one, read my words and hear my heart speak of a love soft and undying: a love that will be with you always. Sincerely, yatta, yatta, yatta." When Burns asks how he thought it up so fast. Smithers cries, "I sent it to you on your birthday! [sob] Excuse me, I have something in my eye!" - SNPP
So not only has Smithers been a gay man for over a decade, but a loyal, respectable, monogamous man deeply in love and totally worthy of having Perez Hilton write "fag" over his photo.
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That is obsurd! Smither's is so gay! Even I had sex with him!
I think what is completely hilarious about your analyzation of GLAAD's article, is that simple mannerisms are not indicative of someone's sexuality. Knowing this we can easily see why GLAAD chooses to exclude Smithers from their assessment. After all, a "gay-acting" cartoon character that is routinely poked fun at for his so-called homosexual tendencies doesn't exactly demonstrate an act of tolerance, "colorful pie charts" aside.
GLAAD isn't in the business of outing people so why would they include Smithers? He isn't open about his homosexuality no matter how many times he tries to shag the object of his affection. GLAAD is all about positive roll models and queer visibility and Smithers is all about queer invisibility, sequestering his affection as much as possible and denying the true nature of his orientation.
I think the best proof of Smithers' homosexuality is in "Three Gays of the Condo," (Season 14, Episode 17) where Homer and Marge have a fight and he moves into "West Springfield" with two gay roommates. here is the scene:
(Homer is walking around oblivious to the fact that the whole neighborhood is gay when Smithers comes up to him in rainbow shorts and on rollerblades.)
Homer: "Oh, Mr. Smithers!"
Smithers: (Nervously) "Oh, uh, hello Homer. I, uh, was passing through on my way to the big car convention, understand? I've never been here before."
(A bus full of gay men comes by)
Guys on Bus: "Hey, Waylon!" "Who's the bear, he is fine!" "Is he that Mr. Burns you're always talking about?"
(Smithers runs away)
Also, when he turns on his computer, he has it set up to have a naked Mr. Burns say, "hello-SMITHERS-you're-quite-GOOD-at-TURNING-me-ON."
Now, while Smithers is not "out" at the office, it is pretty obvious that he is "out" in the "community," and while you may never hear him say "I am gay," he is quite obviously without a doubt a gay man who is afraid to fully come out.
And while, if he were a real person, it would be considered slander or libel to "out" him in the press, because he is a television character and we have been given an omniscient view of his life, he SHOULD be added to the list.
End nerd rant.
Bunny, point well taken!
Aimee, nerds are always welcome here!
Well, maybe the reason is that Smithers is bisexual. In season one, "Homer's Night Out", he was shown on a date with a woman. He seemed to be flirting with Marge in both "Marge Gets a Job" and "The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer", had scheduled a date with John in "Homer's Phobia", and was married to a woman before ("Secrets of a Successful Marriage"). Yes, he is evidently in love with Burns, but I don't see how we could claim that he is strictly homosexual. In the new seasons, Smithers' bisexuality has seemed to have changed into complete homosexuality, as his character is now unfortunately solely utilized to regurgitate gay jokes. However, there is plenty of evidence in the classic seasons of Smithers being bisexual.