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Carl's Jr. sucks the big one with their new burger.

these people cant get enough

Dear Carl’s Jr.,

Look, it’s not that a pastrami burger is a bad idea, and perhaps thought up by some vile criminally insane think-tank… It’s that you would have to be retarded or some kind of asshole to buy a pastrami burger from a restaurant that thinks it’s selling a six-dolla-burger for $5. That so called sixdolla patty ain’t even good enough to use as a coaster for my Keystone Ice.

Everything has to be a novelty with you guys.

Why not deep fry it, wrap it in bacon, and serve it on a tostada shell while you’re at it. You make me want to smear mayonnaise into your ears. (again).

And while I’m fired up, go ahead and tell your friends at Taco Bell to shove that crunch-wrap-supreme up their ass, and bring back the goddamned Mexi-melt. The crunch wrap crap you hand out is not even fit to wipe my ass. You fold it over and fill it with every condiment you can, all I get is a mouthful or tortilla and sour-cream-soaked lettuce. Yum.

Don’t even get me started on the frog-faced IDIOTS at Jack in the Box who couldn’t figure out a custom drive thru order to save their lives. Curly fry THIS you human turds.

The point is this: Carl’s Jr., we hate you. And all of your drive through buddies that you’re in cahoots with too. If your french fries weren’t so salty and delicious I would probably never come back. I hate you.

photo courtesy of a n i o w via flickr

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By Anti in on August 17, 2006 2:20 AM

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