Living in Sin: My Butt, the Glutton
Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually curious. You can see her column in print, too, in the LA Alternative Press. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
Dear Jen,
I am a happily married male who's been with my wife for over 15 years. We have a wonderful relationship and sex life. Here's my dilemma - I love anal play. Can't get enough of it. My wife has a strap-on that we use, but I am looking for something a little better. I am not bi-curious at all. Any suggestions?
- Buttaholic
Dear Buttaholic,
I'm not exactly sure what you mean by better......bigger? Rougher? One with built in speakers?
As luck would have it, just yesterday I was invited to hang out on the set of a porn movie, one that was all about anal, so my butt know how is in tip top shape. I learned many, many, many, many things, including that the people who make pornography, or at least the people who were making this movie, are the kind of people I'd like my grandma to meet. I felt like I was at a family BBQ - there was food, beer, much laughter, hugs, good times. The only difference was that it all happened within five feet of some girl moaning at the top of her lungs while she got the holy frijoles banged out of her (but even she, between takes, mentioned she'd like a turkey sandwich please, no mayo, put aside for her she was done).
Meanwhile, the people at the fancy magazine launch party I went to the night before at some Beverly Hills hotel penthouse didn't give me the time of day.
The two crowds were practically indistinguishable too - boob jobs for as far as the eye could see, barely-there outfits - but would any of those Beverly Hills party people made the effort to get off the couch, dick in hand so as not to lose their hard-on when the scene started up again, to point out exactly where the bathroom was when I asked? I think not.
Another thing I learned was that there are people who can take two penises up the ass at once. Some even three (these women had sphincters you could drive a car through). Would that be better for you? You could maybe double or triple up on your strap on action, or have your wife stick her fingers in there along with the dildo.
There is also the ever-popular fisting, and if it is indeed size you crave, they make dildos you could sit under for shade. You might also want to experiment with vibration, temperature, spanking, butt beads, anal massage, rimming, standing on your head, and enemas. You should check out, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men by Bill Brent, and go online to search out whatever other butt needs you have. Happy bunning!