Know When To Fold 'Em

If any of you saw "American Idol" last night, then you saw something shocking. And we don't mean Simon Cowell's outfit, or Ryan Seacrest's lame "facial fuzz". No, we mean something far more disturbing. That something was the apparently overly surgically enhanced and polished face of Kenny Rogers.

Apparently, the guy really is a Gambler, but we think he went over the limit with this one. Examine the before and after photos above. On the left we have America's beloved Kenny Rogers. The man you would trust with your own life. The guy you'd go to for advice. The father/uncle you wished you had. The man who just dropped in to see what condition his condition was in.

Now, on the right, we're not quite sure what we have. But it looks like a botoxed, buffed, ironed, and martinized version of a police artist sketch of Kenny Rogers, as described by someone who saw him from a great distance. Either that, or someone from the wax museum had a class at the Learning Annex, and this was one of their students first efforts.

At any rate...what happened? Those wrinkles have been blasted into oblivion, and his eyes have been stretched so far open that you might think he just walked off the set of "A Clockwork Orange". Thankfully, they didn't appear to touch his vocal cords. But we miss our old Kenny. He picked a fine time to leave us. Perhaps they've been working him over at that Barona Casino. That was definitely the old Kenny in those ads. We think "tha man" got to him.