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Existential mystery solved? LAist decided to take a theological spin of the bottle, as so many idiots have no doubt done before us, and see whether we couldn't find the Answer to Everything by simply typing "God.com" into our web browser.
"God does not have or need a website," says God.com right off, which makes us wonder what we're looking at (and why He's being so coy, for that matter.) The website then sets up a series of probing, insidious questions: "How does one go to heaven?" "Why are there so many religions and which one is right?" The Evangelical Media Group (registrar of the site) is obviously more than happy to make a suggestion for you, once you've taken the bait. Check out the exciting brimstone sermons available through the links! Deliver them at home to all your (soon to be ex-) friends! God.com isn't afraid to share its point of view with you! He's an exclusive God, a mite vengeful...but a little investigation reveals that God.com isn't really God's website at all.
Prominently, at the top of the site, are not the words "God.com," but instead the words, "yourBIBLE.com." Without checking, we assumed that our browser had just redirected us. But in fact, it hadn't.
So out of curiosity, we typed in "yourBIBLE.com", and found a site with a pretty intense painting of a blood-stained bible for an opening page. Although they have one large image in common, yourbible.com is a completely different site from God.com. And it's only in Korean.
Now the plot thickens. Network Solutions' WHOIS server says that yourbible.com is owned by
Voice of Many Waters (25344032O)
451 DaeRim Acrotel 140-3 Sam-Sung 2 Dong
Kang-Nam-Ku
Seoul, 135-875
KR
Phone: +82-502-305-0000
Fax: +82-502-023-3927
(Quickly: Fax them Many Xeroxes of Many Butt Cheeks!)
Oddly, Netsol's WHOIS search will not pull up any result for God.com at all. (We found out through other means that God Himself is also registered from Korea.) Netsol, for that one and only address, just says the request couldn't be processed. Netsol's servers are going out of their way to hide the owners of God.com.
All of this leads to the question, if God is watching us, then who's watching His website?
"Voice of many waters" is a much-repeated phrase in the Book of Revelations. It describes the sound of Christ's return in the apocalypse when, according to strict Evangelical interpretation, He'll snatch 144,000 True Believers off the Earth and straight to Heaven, leaving everyone else to burn in hell.
And it's the followers of this doomsday cult who're running the website God.com (not to mention our Government.)
It's as if Suicide.com were a site that advocated suicide, or the FTD website only let you send venus flytraps. How dare they hijack God.com and use it to sell their cult? What an immensely cold hearted brush-off, what an insult to the whole rest of Humanity! What a Philistine, impatient answer to the Question of the ages! What's God to humanity, if not a question? Why us? Why are we here? Does S/He exist? If God's ever gonna give an answer, is S/He likely to give it to us through a bunch of brainwashed Koreans shilling for some huckster back in Seoul?
We guess we'll be waiting for the Day when we'll know for sure. 'Til then, happy faxing!
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Godaddy has this info for god.com:
Registrar..: IARegistry.com (http://www.iaregistry.com) GOD.COM Created on..............: 13-Jul-1994 Expires on..............: 12-Jul-2013 Administrative Contact:
Administrator, Domain mail1@verticalaxis.com Vertical Axis, Inc
PO Box # 49
Yongin-suji Post Office, Pungdeokcheon2-dong Yongin-si, Gyeonggi-do 449-846 KR +82.1055957843
Apparently it's taken until July 2012. But Godaddy suggested officialgod.com as an alternative, so maybe God isn't Korean afterall...
Isn't 2012 the end of the Mayan calendar? Yikes.
What, like we didn't already know that God is Korean? Get with the program.
My muslim friends might argue that god is qu'ran...maybe the supreme being just hasn't quite worked out that phoenetic spelling quite yet.
Hooked on phonics doesn't work for everyone. ;-)
Should I put up a disclaimer that LAist doesn't endorse any one specific higher power and that they amuse us err, impress us with their divine benevolence equally?
im part of the church who owns that site. its no cult. there are complex reasons why much evangelism is being done through koreans right now. but the holy spirit is also doing work now through mexicans. most of mexico is turning evangelical protestant recently, and the work of God will be done through them soon, and be passed on from the Koreans. Now the picture you have up with your article is misleading- we dont have sermons like the one which your picture suggests. get the correct information before you make so many mistaken and ignorant conclusions, man. You should be ashamed of yourself. Why would you fax obscene things to a place which is just trying to spread the gospel? What makes you think its a cult anyway? Did you read any of the books or listen to the sermons?
ok im out. jesicka
By the way. God is not Korean. He is the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob. He is the God of the chosen people, the Jews. And the holy spirit has moved into the age of the gentiles now which is us, non jews.
ok now get your facts right man.
jesicka again
Well, Jesicka, the only facts I wrote pertain to the registration of the sites in question. The rest is my opinion. And my opinion is that it's insulting to everyone who doesn't believe in what you believe, that your church would buy the name "God.com" and use it to push its own narrow agenda. There are about four and a half billion people who believe in God, who don't do it the way you do. It's the site's assertion that yours is the only path which is so offensive.
And by the way, this notion of "spreading the Gospel" -- why are members of your church so insecure about their own faith that they can't feel safe or assured until they get everyone else on board with them? I don't distinguish between the churches that proselytize online and the ones that go door to door; both practices are disgusting, they reek of slavish ignorance, and what comes across most is the total lack of respect that certain churches have for other faiths and the "heathens" that practice them. At the end of the day, the Evangelical churches believe that everyone who doesn't accept their teachings is going to hell. Anyone who claims to know what happens after death is getting that information from someone else, or making it up; and anyone who uses hearsay or fantasy -- especially pernicious fantasy where everyone who disagrees them will burn -- as a basis for argument, can't be dealt with rationally or logically on any level, and shouldn't be allowed to impose their system of beliefs on others. At the very least, your church ought to use God.com to publicly apologize for its stance toward every other major religion on the planet.