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We here at LAist have been through enough therapy to know that some of the most arrogant and entitled behavior you'll ever see is projected from parent onto child. Just because you gave birth to something doesn't give you the right to project everything you think, feel and want out of life onto your offspring. Case in point: those jerks who've barely snipped the umbilical cord before piercing their kid's ears. If your first stop on the way back from the hospital is the House of Freaks, maybe you don't quite have your priorities in line -- or your child's best interests at heart.
Piercing your kid's ears isn't some minor image decision like spiking their hair or duding them up in a biker jacket, both of which we here at LAist find positively adorable. If your biker baby grows up to be a bookworm or your tie-dyed tot grows up to be a banker, the worst they have are a few embarrassing pictures haunting them from the family photo albums. But if your daughter didn't want her ears pierced, she's pretty much screwed. You've already made that decision for her. And in so doing, you've stomped all over her ability to discover her own personality as she grows older. Maybe your daughter doesn't want to be a whore, did you ever think of that?
For the parents who insist on piercing their infant's ears, it all tends to lead back to one thoughtful, well-reasoned, air-tight argument: "But it's cute!" Well, sure it's cute. Cute like prison, which is where you belong for mutilating your child. And just to be clear, no, it's not cute. Is it too much to ask that babies be allowed to look like babies for a little while, instead of shrunken, bald grownups? Haven't we learned anything from all that JonBenet messiness?
There's another argument parents give for piercing their baby's ears. Some moms hit the Piercing Pagoda because they're tired of every nosy numbskull at the mall bending over their stroller and exclaiming, "What a cute little boy you have!" Well, congratulations, now they know your kid's gender, but they think you're trash. If your kid is a hairless, androgynous blob, maybe you should stick a little pink dress on her, or just stop worrying so much what other people think.
We know these things are subjective, so we'd never suggest a hard age minimum for piercing a kid's ears, but how about holding off at least until your kid can speak? That way, when you're needlessly poking them with a needle, at least you'll have to listen to them shout, "Ouch!" and "Why, Mommy, why?" And they'll be able to remember the moment much more clearly later on in life when they're recounting it to their therapist.
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Piercing the ears of infant girls is a cultural thing. You will find very few Cuban girls whose ears haven't been pierced, and it's pretty common among Mexican and Central American babies too. (Doctors commonly perform the ``operation,'' not mall rats.) It's a mainstream thing. Does that make it right? I don't know. Did I pierce the ears of my little girl? No, although my mother-in-law was pretty miffed. But the practice doesn't necessarily mean that the parents are idiotic slaves to fashion.
When did pierced ears equal trash and whore?
I think infant ear-piercing is a relatively minor parental action compared to say, circumcision. At the very least it's reversible. But I'm not gonna stir that er, wasp's nest now, nor is it appropriate LAist material.
Looks like someone has some unresolved issues from their childhood ... Did your parents dress you up in girls clothes when you were a toddler Jerry?
Pierced ears on a grownup are a matter of personal taste, obviously nothing trashy or whorish. But pierced ears on a baby do not make me think very highly of the kid's parents. That's my opinion; you're free to disagree.
I think I skillfully avoided tying this into circumcision in my post. That's a far bigger topic than I want to take on. :)
And no, my parents never dressed me in girls' clothes, but they did dress me in plaid pants, which was worse.
I see nothing wrong with piercing a baby's ears because 1) I had my ears pierced when I was two weeks old because it was a cultural thing and because I was mistaken for a boy and 2) I pierced ears while I was in college and I've seen the look of fright in an 8-year-old's eyes when they get their ears pierced. I even had a little girl get one ear pierced and not let me do the other. She had to come back a couple weeks later to get the other done. I'd rather my child not remember going through that pain. I completely respect a parent not piercing their kids' ears, but I don't see anything wrong with it. If the kid doesn't like it when they get older, they can take it out. It'll heal.
If an 8-year-old is scared to get her ears pierced, she can wait until she gets older. And it's not like you're doing the baby a favor by getting the piercing out of the way. Babies don't hurt when you puncture holes into their earlobes? At least an 8-year-old is doing it of her own free will.
that was a little insane. comparing beauty pagent parents to ones who pierce their child's ears. a little far, dont you think? and since when are piercings "whore"-ish? no one ever sent me that memo.
We waited until our daughters asked for pierced ears to get it done. They both asked around 6 1/2 or so.
That being said, if we could have done it over, we would have had them pierced at 2 months.
Why? It would have been simpler and more hygenic. They wouldn't have fiddled with them as much in the first few weeks.
As parents we make all kinds of decisions for our kids, vaccinations, haircuts, medications, dental work, clothing, food, drink, and even the kind of toothpaste they use. It's the job of the parents to scuplt their child as they best see fit and prepare them to live on their own.
In our humble opinion, a modern woman has pierced ears and there no is reason they shouldn't.
Airing your own issues about piercing is fine, but to comparing ear piercing to pagentry is silly.
If you are going to make a statement, how about the trend to avoid vaccination?
I can think of a very good reason for a woman not to have her ears pierced: if she doesn't want to. Plenty of "modern" women choose not to wear earrings. Why not respect your daughter enough to let her make that choice when she's old enough?
Yes, pageant parents are much worse, but only because they take the premature sexualization of their kids to an extreme. But that's a topic that's been covered to death elsewhere. In my opinion, piercing a baby's ears, while far less objectionable, is still symptomatic of the same kind of wrongheaded thinking.
Feel free to make your own statements, and I'll continue to make mine. If you want to write about vaccinations, go ahead. This piece was about piercing a newborn's ears.
Baby ear piercings? Is this the best you can do? How about parents who schedule every moment of their child's lives, who panic at the age of 2 that getting them into a good pre-school is a pre-req to getting into that all important elementary school and eventually, that Ivy league school?
But I forget. This isn't New York!
But the question remains: is this the best you can do?
Oh, no! Why didn't anyone tell me SYLVIE reads my posts?
I'll make sure I do better next time for Sylvie.
you do realize that if they grow up and don't want earrings they can take them out and the holes will close up, right?
I feel the same was as you about piercing baby's ears. I thought you might enjoy my poem.
Babies Deserve Better
The sight of an infant with pierced ears,
just makes me madder than hell.
Anyone who would do that to a child,
should spend some time in jail.
Piercing is about gratifying a mother's vanity,
not something an infant would provoke
Doctors who participate in this horrendous deed,
should have their license revoked.
The risk of infection is huge for infants,
much more than it is for adults.
An infection in an infant
can yield catastrophic results.
Infants with studs look ridiculous
the reflection on the parents is a glare
What is perceived as an admiring glance
is more likely a curious stare.
Remember your child was created by God,
and God can take her away.
Don't assume that she is your property,
or abuse her in any way.
Copyright ©2005 Daniel Morris Albright
That is the biggest load of narrow-minded waste I have ever heard. How can you possibly compare children with ear piercings to vanity? Rather, the vanity of their parents? Since when has pierced ears been "trashy"? Since when has it ever been abuse? I think the cliche "making a mountain out of a molehill" comes into mind.. If they dislike the piercings, they can simply take them out. I daresay the majority of girls wouldnt mind having their ears pierced.. And it would certainly not be reason to hold a grudge against the parent.
c'mon its not like piercing a babys ear is bad,
certainly not worth jail time. let me reiterate an extremely valad point if the child doesnt like the piercing they can take them out, the holes will close in about 2 weeks and be invisible in no more than 6. if you get so infuriated by simply seeing a baby with pierced ears than i have 2 theories: one is that you have some very VERY large parental control issues, two is that you have latent aggresion and that you need to find the cause and go hit a brick wall. and in either case you need a shrink, you dont need to get mad at a parent or doctor for piercing a childs ears. get a life.
Not that you need Some Internet Stranger to validate your opinions but I just wanted to say that:
A. You're absolutely right, and
B. Well, I guess that was it. You're just really, really right.
If having one's ealrobes pierced was medically necessary, sure--do it to 'em when they're babies so at least they won't remember. If, when she gets older, your daughter is afraid of the pain...guess what? She doesn't NEED to have her ears pierced. Oh no! She might miss out on...wearing earrings? Tragic!
And babies with earrings do look trashy. Adults who've chosen to get their earlobes pierced? That's fine. But a pierced infant or toddler may as well go around wearing a sign that says "Please take me away to be reared by someone more responsible. Like wolves."
And for all the people saying, "if she doesn't like them she can take them out and they'll close up." Not always! I had mine pierced at age seven and I wear earrings about once a year; my holes have never closed. (I'm 23.) And they're visible, too.
And so what if they close up? You've still violated someone's bodily integrity for No Reason; the same can't be said of vaccines, for example. The pierced lobes thing is pure vanity or conformity.
Wow, I didn't realize how much I cared about this. Very well-written piece!
I am completely shocked that you people use infant ear piercing to create conversations and give you some sort of satisfaction from a social life. The point is; parents that pierce their childrens ears are not horrible people, nor is it typically the intention to make their child look whoreish. I feel sorry for your children who are going to grow up and become the same incosiderate, narrow minded, self righteous, ignorant individuals thst your own parents should be punished for creating. It is people like you that make me support manditory steralization for certain individuals. Ear piercing is a minor, trivial procedure that in the majority of cases does look cute on small children. It is in my opinion that your efforts need to be focused on the parents who buy alcohol/drugs for their preteens, give them free reign of the internet and television and do not monitor the friends that the child is associated with. I had pierced ears as a child and I never look back and think of the psychological damage this has caused me. As far as I am concerned, infant piercings do not dictate what you will become. Psychotic parents like those so strongly opposed to this trivial thing do.
to the intolerant overreacting posters:
to pierce a young gir or boys ears is not a thing worthy of anger, hate, jail, or even a slightly higher pulse. to be so miffed(i will refrain from using the proper term as it may offend some of the more conservitive or tight-assed intolerants) is something to take out on a phycologist, not on the family that has gotten their childs ears pierced young, they are being mercifull to their young one, they will not remember the pain and as a matter of fact it does hurt less than if they were older. one of the most painfull parts of any pain causing activity is the anticipation and the mental pain. i myself have a hard time getting shots because i think the shot will hurt, most of the time the shot is rather painless but because i work my self up before hand i experiance pain that is not really there. also the development of the baby is not yet finished and therefore the skin is thinner, there are less nerves there, and the cartalige is not nerely as thick
"She doesn't NEED to have her ears pierced. Oh no! She might miss out on...wearing earrings? Tragic!"
Thats true. But then again, why is it being made out into this huge dramatic issue about morals and whats "right" for our kids? Its only ear piercings for god's sake.. As someone has said previously, how bout you focus on something that COULD be extremely detrimental to your child's psychological and physical health?
If a parent makes a choice to pierce their child's ears, then thats that.. If the child doesnt want them later in life they can take them out. Simple. I think you're just exhausting a small topic because of bigger issues.
i'm a completely random, teenager from australia.. and i just saw the movie lil miss sunshine. which is about little girls in beauty pagents. i honestly thort that they were joking wen i saw the beauty pagent 6 year olds! but then my dad told me about jonbennit and told me to search it in google images and ur site poped rite up! when i was growing up, all my friends had their ears pireced.. by the time i was 7 i was so desperate to be like the other girls i beged my mum! the only reason people do this to their kids at such a young age is because everyone has it done so they may aswel get it done this early. personaly i hate the trend. i mean its bad enough every girl looks, dresses and acts the same, our perants shouldnt encorage it!! - xxx - from gem