A Threefold 'Thank You' to Los Angeles
Canter's & Ice Cream Sandwich Could Live in Perfect Harmony
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Dear Los Angeles: I'm Thankful For...
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A Photo Gallery of the Things I am Grateful for This Year
With the holidays all around us, LAist has noticed that some people aren't fully embracing the "treat your fellow man respectfully and with love" concept. And so, we decided to take advantage of the stress and the chaos and the ill-will around town by seeing just how many annoyed dashboard notes we could elicit by parking in two spaces at once, too close to the driver's side doors, at awkward angles, double-parking and a myriad of other "no-no's."
Honestly, it was sort of fun.
At Tower Records (Sunset Boulevard), double-parked behind a Jeep Cherokee: "What are you, an idiot!? Obvs."
At Virgin Megastore (Sunset Boulevard), parked in two spaces because said car was so precious, we couldn't risk being near any car at all: "Take your head out of your ass and realize there are other people who need to park -- asshole! If I had time to wait for you I would then I'd kick your ass for being so greedy!!!!
At Whole Foods (Ventura Boulevard), parked too close to other person's driver's side door: Learn to Park!
On Santa Monica Boulevard, at a meter: "You took my spot!"
Bedford drive, in Beverly Hills neighborhood: "Don't ever park in front of my driveway again or I will call the police. The police will be notified. The police will tow your car. Don't ever do this again!!
In the Best Buy parking lot (Sawtelle, West LA): "If you're in Best Buy, you're going to be sorry!"
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
(Disclaimer: Referenced angry-dashboard notes have been collected over the course of the last few months. All instances and locations are true. All notes have been replicated word-for-word.)
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It was fun?? I am annoyed just by the fact that you did it. What was the point? "Let's see how much I can piss someone off by being a bad parker?" Really, what were you trying to prove?
I am inherently a bad parker. The notes just seem to follow me everywhere.
The fun aspect does not stem from pissing people off, but from seeing the time and effort people put into leaving nasty notes instead of just not worrying about it.
Seriously -- isn't life too short to get all worked up over some guy who parked too close to you?
I think so.
So, you're admitting you're a chronic asshole-parker? there are 3.5 million people in the city of LA, 16 million in the County, and only 5 parking spaces. It's estimated that businesses lost $3 billion in transactions last year due to bad parking. Okay, I made that statistic up. But the point is, you're still a dick and it's people like you who make life too short, and life in this town difficult.
I left someone a note once, but only because they had hit my car while parking. I believe it said, "way to hit my car, jackass."
"Hmm...I'm a clueless and/or inconsiderate schmuck, so instead of taking the first nasty note I received as a hint to perhaps take more notice of my parking, I will instead go blithely about my little world, inconveniencing dozens of my fellow LAers with my selfish little attitude because, hey, why should I have to change who I am just to please these total strangers, when all they have to do is not worry about the fact that they have to take another 1-5 minutes out of their possibly overstressed day to get into their car, buy their groceries, pick up the kids, or get to work?"
For every note you've actually received, you've probably affected 9 others who neither had the time nor the patience to write you a nasty note. But that doesn't make you any less of a dick.
I live across the street from McArthur Park, on 6th Street. Parking around here is a nightmare at the best of times; they're always filming at the Park Plaza Hotel and blocking off entire sides of the side streets for the film crews (that's cool, I know how important filming is to the economy here). Plus, the Mexican consulate is next door and people start lining up for the next day's business in the early evening. What irritates me is that people don't take the extra 30 seconds--yes, 30 whole seconds--to park properly. They'll park 5 feet from the edge of a driveway, or take up two spaces etc. Trying to find parking after, say, 7:00 pm can be a nightmare; I've driven around for half an hour waiting for a precious space to open up. With my building charging the San Francisco-esque rate of $150/month for a parking space in the building, I have no choice financially but to resort to street parking. This is a poor neighborhood, we're never going to get permit parking.
Oh yeah, you're a dickhead just because you had to prove that you could be a dickhead multiple times.
I think a consensus has been reached.
I wholeheartedly disagree with said consensus.
For the record, of course.
Here's an idea....if parking is THAT big of a deal to you people. MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE. Jesus. If you seriously consider this that horrible you would not do too well in other parts of the world. I can't stand 90% of people in big cities due to the fact that they act like this. Move somewhere with some breathing room and maybe you will realize there are more important things in life to freak the hell out about.
It's a fucking joke, people
I love this, absolutely hilarious. Awesome work. I wish you had pictures of the parking jobs and scans of the notes though.
-On Santa Monica Boulevard, at a meter: "You took my spot!"
I don't get this one. How is it offensive to park at a meter?
I say keep up the good work! Listening to these self-absorbed, automobile-dependent LA fucks complain like sniveling little bitches about losing 90 seconds of their day brings infinite pleasure to my day. Get over yourselves pricks!
Haha, they have a similar problem with parking spots here in D.C. But if anyone pulled this stunt with me, I wouldn't even bother with a note; I drive a crappy old Accord, so I'd just dent their door opening mine without a care. If you want your car undamaged, learn to park. And parking in two spots anywhere in D.C. will get you a ticket within 10 minutes, this city makes at least millions a year on parking tickets.
I think it's cool. And very amusing! I also think it's hilarious how bent out of shape Angelenos get about anything to do with their cars.
How did you avoid getting towed?
You know, it's one thing to tell people to chill out when they've only had one or two experiences with bad parkers.
But we Angelenos deal with this day after day after day, and let me tell you, the aggregate frustration is enough to make you want to key someone's car.
So go ahead and keep parking your bad ass self in two spots at the same time. But don't be surprised when someone finally keys your car.
People that park like you do are usually self-absorbed assholes that think the world owes them something. They make living in the world difficult for the rest of us. This isn't really funny. Now, if someone had taken a crowbar to your jaw when you came back to your car and made you rethink your "clever" idea, THAT would be funny. Cuz it's ironic comeuppance. You're a comedian i know you get it.
You have inspired me: tomorrow I will approach random people and punch them smartly in the mouth. I'll let you know how they react! What fun.
Seriously -- isn't life too short to get all worked up over some guy who parked too close to you?
Isn't life too short to see how pissed off you can make people by acting like a inconsiderate prick? How can this be justified by claiming that people shouldn't be upset about having to spend extra time to park when you're too lazy to park correctly?
Dick.
Good work. Actually, the original post was kind of tame, but I have to admire any work than can bring so many entitlement kings and queens shrieking out of the woodwork.
i wish we had cars in new york- this doesn't work as well with a bike- or a dog.
Well, I'm the kind of asshole that would find those notes endlessly entertaining.
You should know this though: if you were parked in front of MY driveway, you WOULD have been towed. I've done it before.
The only thing I find more funny than intentionally parking to piss people off is watching someone's car get towed, and knowing that I made the call. I'm chuckling right now just thinking about it!
Genius!
this is awesome. as a former resident, driven out by the frustration of reliance on unreliable carstuff, i salute your efforts to play around with what is, undeniably, a really crappy situation. bravo. for your next trick, i suggest you recreate that trucker-strike from a few years ago, wherein the drivers just parked their tracktor trailors and walked off, totally blocking the freeway.
This sounds like a very hip form of amusement, which is one more reason I am so glad to be un hip.
I once came across a big SUV, brand new, that was obnoxiously parked. I didn't have a pen to leave a note on the windshield, so I keyed it in the door.
Hey, it's only a joke! It was pretty funny.
Well, if the Oil and Car Companies in the 1930s had not ripped up the developing public transportation system in LA, we would not have to worry as much about parking woes. If we had just a slightly more developed public transportation system, people would use it more often than anyone does now. What with the continuing rising prices of Gas.
This is a prank in the methodology of phemenology. That is to make an individual acutely self aware and aware of their environment inregard to their conscience thought of what 'should' be occuring as opposed to what is.
Does inconveniencing others to demonstrate your point of how stressed people are, how much consumerism is going on, how odd it is to worry about parking, how busy people are, how you may or may not be selfish so on, warrant this sort of method?
To provoke thought is to illicit human action in some form....
this is interesting...let us say if everyone did park perfectly everytime ..because the fine was lets say $2,500 and 20 hours community service, no appeal, nothing enforced with extreme impunity, this would ensure perfect parking...or less cars....more spaces...
To all the lamers who think this was funny, drive over to my block and try it. just don't forget money for the tow truck when they haul your ass away!
I dare any of you to leave your car parked illegally here [ http://tinyurl.com/7ybte ] for 30 minutes. Then you can report back as to how "funny" the whole experience was!
what's this asshole's license plate number, vehicle make and model?
The last time that I saw an a$$401e take up two parking spots, a friend and I blocked his SUV in with our cars so that he couldn't drive off. we watched the d1ck from inside the Best Buy try to get out of his "funny" predicament. now that was funny $h1t!
I know, I'll deliberately block traffic to your site just to see what kind of crazy email you send me... that'll be a hoot!
Sarcasm aside... that was a pointless and lazy way to get some cheap laughs.
Aww, look at all the Most Important People in the world balling up their little fists and bleating at their keyboards. They're so cute.
I'm not cute dammit! I just have big eyes 8)
We're less forgiving on the east coast.
We would leave the note scratched into the paint.
So Paul, why don't you tell us where YOU live and allow us to do some asshole parking around your car? Just to see how it feels to be on the receiving end of it?
Oh yeah, you're a fucking hypocritical douchebag, that's why. Hope you die in a special circle of hell that was especially made for you. Dumbfuck.
hey, a cool idea! let's piss off other people and see what their reaction will be!
let's post our antics on the web and look at the reactions we get, reactions that mirror the ones we got in the real world!
this is so cool! we're social engineers! we're modern anthropologists! we're young powerful and fun!
you're also dumb as fuck.
don't you hate it when a bunch of chode-swallowers are the main visitors to your website? Must be an LA thing. Fuck'em for being bitches, and keep on parking your own special way!
Public Transportation is the answer, assholes...
this whole stunt is brilliant and hilarious. but the funniest part is reading how incensed some of these posters are over it. i can't imagine caring at all. it's like you wounded them. interesting.
This may be the most pointless webpage ever made.
fsck = best comment. you win teh intarweb.
To anyone who thinks what shit-for-brains here did was OK, it doesn't matter if you think getting upset over bad parking is unreasonable. If you're going to show some respect to your fellow man, that means understanding that what's important to you, may not be to the next guy, and so on. I don't like opera, but I'm not going to take a bullhorn into an opera performance to see how upset I can make people ("After all, what a silly thing to get upset over!").
Per the posters original comment about people not embracing "treat your fellow man respectfully and with love", deliberately parking in such a way as to inconvenience those around you strikes me as especially disrespectful and unloving.
Oh, and the preview function on this webpage is broken. I put in break tags because the preview showed no separation between those paragraphs. :)
[sigh] what a disappointment. where are the pictures? where are the juicy details? this idea has so much potential for high-larity ... but you've bungled it by employing the creative potential of a very small rock. if folks are giving you a hardtime about this it isn't because you're a jerk for doing it. it's because you did it so poorly. this post reads more like a bathroom inspiration that you never did anything about until last night when you were stoned and decided to do some "creative" writing.
please, will someone with a little bit of imagination give this a shot. we'll all pretend like you were the first one to think of it.
oh no! you wadded the panties of a bunch of latte drinking radio-television-film wasties! my time is so important! I may be famous some day, or at least be the gaffer or the gofer on a famous film and my name might be in the credits you don't read when you get up really fast at the end of the film so you can go pee! I am so important! don't make me spend more time finding another space! my time is so important! I get angry over stupid sh*t! waaaaaaah!
Too bad none of the people you inconvenienced were armed. That might have been funnier, and also helped cull the gene pool a bit.
Same applies if this whole thing is a hoax, which it might well be.Wow, I'm inspired now too. I'm going to "accidentally" spill hot coffee on people and write about their stupid unchristmas-like reactions.
Whee, what fun!
It's not like it will cause permanent damage, just a little inconvenience. We'll see how stupid those short-tempered, uncreative, intolerant working stiffs are, and therefore how funny and cool I am.
I'm Kidding, BTW. Oh, and here's a thought - if a lot of people agree that you might be an idiot, consider it constructive criticism and take the hint, maybe to re-evaluate your sense of humor and social interaction skills.
Personally, I thought it was rather amusing. Then, I'm English and you can walk across the centre of my city as it's not particularly big (BUT! Cars aren't allowed through the middle of it, which is probably why it's safe to walk. We gotta real cute little toy underground a bit like london or paris too...)
Do the experiment again, but this time place a small webcam on the dashboard of the car. No need to plug it in or anything, just make sure that people leaving a note under the wiper can see it. I give five to one odds that the politeness of the notes improves dramatically.
Incidentally, it's quite humorous to note that the comments about this incident seem to reflect a similar lack of good cheer for an experiment that introduces a few moments of delay into someone's life. I guess tolerance isn't an American principle anymore, eh?
Notes are weak. Simply do this from now on. DIY: valve stem remover. Go to a Pep Boys, purchase a valve stem core tool. Screw it onto a valve stem you get from the tires section. Then when you want to send a clear message to the fool parking badly, simply remove the valve stem from one of more of their tires and drive away with that total feeling of satisfaction that this brings.
What's even more hilarious are all the asswipes acting all superior by cricizing those who are annoyed by your prank. "Haha, I'm so freakin' cool cuz I can make fun of people who drive cars and dislike other people being inconsiderate."
Free clue for you idiots: You aren't any better than the rest of us just because you don't drive a car, and not everyone who lives in LA is a snobby, latte-drinking jerk. I hate LA but I don't fault the people there for being upset at jerks who have their heads so far up their self-absorbed asses that they've forgotten there are a few million other people who live there with them. It's bad enough trying to drive in that city as it is without having to deal with jerks who don't understand what common courtesy is.
common courtesy is the key. If you don't have the common courtesy to park like you were taught when you were 16, im not going to have the common courtesy to overlook the Marks-A-Lot Pen and squeezer of superglue i carry with me in my car.
One of my favorites is a little pic of Mickey giving you trhe finger with 2 parralel lines beside the image. between the lines is the following text.
I hope you don't Fuck like you park, you will never get it in.
Well I find it humerous.. and it does send the message. if someone finds it offensive, well That's hoew I find their lack of driving skill or inconsideration of others as well.
Hahahaha! The angry comments are so sweet! Poor little can't park people. You get sooo angry, don't you? xxx
i carry a valve-stem remover on my key chain for just such an occasion. less than a dollar at any auto parts store. leave a note? how ineffectual. that guy will think twice about double parking when he finds four flat tires. oh and the valve stems can be replaced but that is many hours out of his day.
What a STUPID f^cking idea for an article. Pissing people off to see what will happen? What an original idea. Hey, I bet if you spit on people they'd get pissed too. You should think about that for your next story.
Note to Evil Corporate Warlord: overgeneralize much? People who are respectful of others are not entitlement kings and queens. People who park in such a way as to inconvenience others are the entitled ones.
We're just the poor schmucks who have to live them.
There are 10 million people in Los Angeles County. Not all of us are latte-sipping movie moguls. Most of us are just hard-working people trying to eek out an existence. I drive a '94 Suzuki Swift and I live in Koreatown: one of the poorest and most densely populated areas of Los Angeles. Parking is a serious nightmare in my neighborhood.
For the rest of you Angelenos, call the City of Los Angeles 24-hour service parking violations office at 213-485-4184 and have them ticketed.
But this valve stem remover seems like a great idea for when I'm on the go! Thanks for the tip, Agnostic Front!
Jeez, you LA people just drive too damn much.
www.forgotten-ny.com
Next time, let's try to think of something funny to do, okay?
This is brilliant, you are all whiners, go drive into the ocean.
Two spots, not so bad, but doubleparking blows, especially if they need to get somewhere. I would have your ass towed immediately. And key your car.
Pranks are cool, but this one isn't funny. What you should have done is leapt out of tbe bushes right after they were done with their note-writing and interview them, get something more concrete for the story.
As it stands, it's just not all that funny/interesting/revealing.